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I planted some bird seed. A bird came up. Now I don't know what to feed it. I had amnesia once -- maybe twice. I went to San Francisco. I found someone's heart. Photons have mass? I didn't even know they were Catholic. All I ask is a chance to prove money can't make me happy. I'd give...

We in the United States have all heard the haunting song, "Taps." It's the song that gives us that lump in our throats and usually Tears in our eyes. But, do you know the story behind the song? If not, I think you will be interested to find out about its humble beginnings. Reportedly...

Many years ago there was a movie and a song by the title name of this topic. Though this may not be of the same vinatage, I hope it entertains you. 1. Good: Your wife is pregnant. Bad: It's triplets. Ugly: You had a vasectomy five years ago. 2. Good...

I don´t know who thinks these things up, but they are something to look at. I´d like to have a huge print of this one on my wall at home.Take a look. http://www.cs.toronto.edu/~moraes/illusion.html

This was sent to me and is pretty funny. It takes longer than normal to download, and if thier server is full you can buy the download. Don´t do that, as all you need to do is try again later. If you have the time it should be a giggle for you. http://www.jibjab.com/thisland.html

ONE Recently, when I went to McDonald's I saw on the menu that you could have an order of 6,9 or 12 Chicken McNuggets. I asked for a half dozen nuggets. "We don't have half dozen nuggets," said the teenager at the counter. "You don't?" I replied." "We only have six, nine, or twelve," was the...

For good or ill, the Iraqi prisoner abuse mess will remain an issue. On the one hand, right thinking Americans will abhor the stupidity of the actions while on the other hand, political glee will take control and fashion this minor event into some modern day My Lai massacre. I heard some Arabs...

Are you tired of all those sissy "friendship" poems and messages that you recieve form friends, aquaintances and loved ones that always sound good, but never actually come close to reality? Well, here is a series of promises that really speak to true friendship from me: 1. When you are sad - I...

Joe Arpaio, the tough-guy sheriff who created the tent city and long ago started making his prisoners wear pink, and eat bologna sandwiches, is not one bit sympathetic. He has jail meals down to 40 cents a serving and charges the inmates for them. He stopped smoking and porno magazines in...

A shepherd was herding his flock in a remote pasture when suddenly a brand-new BMW advanced out of a dust cloud towards him. The driver, a young man in an Armani suit, Cole Hann shoes, Oakley sunglasses and DK tie, leans out the window and asks the shepherd: "If I tell you exactly how many sheep...

I was talking with a friend who left trucking about 5 years ago, after 20 odd years as a long haul o&o to do something else. It hasn´t worked out for him, so he wants to get back into OTR trucking. He was telling me that he has applied to several companies, and is being turned down for not...

The following is an actual exam question given on University of Washington chemistry mid-term. The answer by one student was so "profound" that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why I can pass it on to you. Bonus Question: Is Hell...

I´m sure there are many things a recruiter looks at when looking at a potential candidate for a driving or owner op position. Some of the stories I´ve heard for turndowns are difficult to believe. So, from a recruiters viewpoint, can you briefly list here what you look for to qualify a driver...

A Frenchman and a Yougarian were on a crowded beach. The Frenchman was surrounded by several beautiful women, all giving him lots of attention. The Yougarian was alone, everyone, especially the women, were completely ignoring him. The Frenchman left to go to the snack wagon, so the Yougarian...

This is just a curious question that maybe some of you may be curious about like me. We all know, or at least I know, that in my expediting years, expediting has alot of overnite runs. I probably do about 50% night driving. What do you consider is your percentage of night driving. It´s the one...

We know that the current state of affairs in our great nation have many civilians up in arms and excited to join the military. For those of you who can't join, you can still lend a hand. Here are a few of the areas where we would like your assistance: 1) The next time you see an adult talking...

On a recent flight, a plane passes through a severe storm. The turbulence is awful, and things go from bad to worse when one wing is struck by lightning. One woman in particular loses it. Screaming, she stands up at the front of the plane. "I'm too young to die," she wails. Then she yells...

After getting all of Pope John Paul's luggage loaded into the limo, the driver notices that the Pope is still standing on the curb. "Excuse me, Your Holiness," says the driver, "Would you please take your seat so we can leave?" "Well, to tell you the truth," says the Pope, "they never let me...

The Ant and the Grasshopper CLASSIC VERSION: The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks he's a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away. Come winter, the ant is warm and well fed...

Into a Belfast pub comes Paddy Murphy, looking like he'd just been run overby a train. His arm is in a sling, his nose is broken, his face is cut and bruised and he's walking with a limp. "What happened to you?" asks Sean, the bartender. "Jamie O'Conner and me had a fight," says Paddy...