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Just trying to help

A poem

Men Are Just Happier People-- What do you expect from such simple creatures? Your last name stays put. The garage is all yours. Wedding plans take care of themselves. Chocolate is just another snack. You can be President. You can never be pregnant. You can wear a white T-shirt to a water...

Can you imagine working for a company that has a little more than 500 employees and has the following statistics: * 29 have been accused of spousal abuse * 7 have been arrested for fraud * 19 have been accused of writing bad checks *117 have directly or indirectly bankrupted at least 2...

A woman was very distraught over the fact that she had not had a date or any sex for over 5 years. She had been to several doctors but couldn`t find an answer as to why her love life was on the rocks, so she decided to seek the medical expertise of the well known Chinese sex therapist, Dr...

Exercise of the brain is as important as exercise of the muscles. As we grow older, it's important that we keep mentally alert The saying; "If you don't use it, you will lose it" also applies to the brain, so... Below is a very private way to gauge your loss or non-loss of intelligence...

Next time you`re in for a colonoscopy, or the old "finger wave", drop one of these lines on your doctor.

I am passing this on to you because it definitely worked for me and we all could use more calm in our lives. By following the simple advice I heard on an interview show, I have finally found inner peace. On that show it was proclaimed by several psychologists, who were billed as experts in...

I don`t know how they do this. I`t`s quick, easy and right on the money.

This how to guide should be posted in office bathrooms around the country, and in all public men`s and ladies restrooms. HOW TO POOP AT WORK As much as we try to convince ourselves otherwise, the WORK POOP is inevitable. For those who hate pooping at work, following is the survival guide for...

The IRS Genie A modern day cowboy has spent many days crossing the desert without water. His horse has already died of thirst. He's crawling through the sand, certain that he has breathed his last, when all of a sudden, he sees an object sticking out of the sand several yards ahead of him...

Two blondes living in Oklahoma were sitting on a bench talking........and one blonde says to the other:" Which do you think is farther away..........Florida or the moon?" The other blonde turns and says "Helloooooooooo, can you see Florida.......????? A police officer stops a blonde for...

In pharmacology, all drugs have two names - a trade name and a generic name. For example, the trade name of Tylenol is acetaminophen. Aleve is known as naproxen, Amoxil is amoxicillin, and Advil is ibuprofen. The FDA has been looking for a generic name for Viagra. After consideration by a team...

I want to thank all of you who have taken the time and trouble to sendmeyour damn chain letters over the past two years. Thank you for making me feel safe, secure, blessed, and wealthy. Because of your concern... I no longer drink Coca Cola because it can remove toilet stains. I no longer...

A Pakistani arrives in Houston, Texas. All excited, he stops the first person he meets. "Good day, Mr. American, thank you to accept me in your nice country, and... " The person interrupts and says: "I am not American, I'm Chinese " The Pakistani continues on his way and meets another...

Greeting card companies try to think up verses to convey anything that they think will sell a card. But there are some things you can`t find a card for. My tire was thumping. I thought it was flat When I looked at the tire... I noticed your cat. Sorry...

Her`s another one of those top 10 gags. Top Ten Most Polite Ways to Say Your Zipper is Down..... 10. The cucumber has left the salad. 9. Quasimodo needs to go back in the tower and tend to his bells. 8. You need to bring your tray table to the upright and locked position. 7. Pag ing...

A Chinese couple got married. They both worked in the same Chinese restaurant and it was love at first sight. She was a virgin, and truth be told, he was none too experienced either. On their wedding night, she cowered naked under the bed sheets as herhusband undressed. He climbed in next to...

DEMOCRATIC: You have two cows. Your neighbor has none. You feel guilty for being successful. Barbara Streisand sings for you. REPUBLICANISM: You have two cows...

Here is a well thought out 10 point peace plan. The UN ambassador should stand up at the United Nations and read this to the world assemblage. 1. The US will apologize to the world for our "interference" in their affairs, past & present. You know, Hitler, Mussolini, Tojo, Noriega, Milosovich...