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  1. louixo

    State Mottos

    > KNOW YOUR STATE MOTTO > > Alabama: Hell Yes, We Have Electricity > ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ > Alaska: 11,623 Eskimos Can't Be Wrong! > ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ > Arizona: But It's A Dry Heat > ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ > Arkansas: Literacy Ain't Everything >...
  2. louixo

    QUICKIES

    Two friends were discussing popular family trends on sex, marriage, and values. Stu said, "I didn't sleep with my wife before we got married, did you?" Leroy replied, "I'm not sure, What was her maiden name?" "Mr. Clark, I have reviewed this case very carefully," the divorce court Judge...
  3. louixo

    At The Ballgame

    SITTING BEHIND A COUPLE OF NUNS AT A BASEBALL GAME (WHO'S HABITS PARTIALLY BLOCKED THE VIEW), THREE MEN DECIDED TO BADGER THE NUNS IN AN EFFORT TO GET THEM TO MOVE. IN A VERY LOUD VOICE, THE FIRST GUY SAID,"I THINK I'M GOING TO MOVE TO UTAH, THERE ARE ONLY 100 NUNS LIVING THERE." THE SECOND...
  4. louixo

    BUYING A RACE HORSE

    A very wealthy midget with a speech impediment arrived at a horse farm and asked to see the manager. When the manager ushered him into his office the midget says "Hellwo, I´m here to buy a wace horth". The manager tells him ,"At the present time the only horse we have for sale is a two year old...
  5. louixo

    Answering machine message

    This is the message the Pacific Palisades California High School staff voted unanimously to record on their school telephone answering machine. It was recorded after the school implemented a policy requiring students and parents to be responsible for their children's absences and missing...
  6. louixo

    On a city bus somwhere.....

    A bus stops and two Italian men get on. They sit down and engage in an animated conversation. The lady sitting behind them ignores them at first, but her attention is galvanized when she hears one of the men say the following: "Emma come first. Den I come. Den two asses come together. I come...
  7. louixo

    Horsing around..

    Some programmers either have too much time on thier hands, or are frustrated entertainers. Every now and again, you get to see some real genius..fun, useless genius. This falls into that category. Go here. Click on each horse. http://svt.se/hogafflahage/hogafflaHage_site/Kor/hestekor.swf
  8. louixo

    Mexican drivers..

    For what it´s worth department. There was alot of press concerning Mexican drivers coming into the USA a few months back. I was in Mexico at the time doing some r&r, and I tuned into the Mexican TV network news. At the time, the Mexican president was making an issue of the NAFTA agreement, and...
  9. louixo

    Bet you didn´t know...

    We learn something every day!!! This next little entry you have probably repeated some of these things many times. A little History lesson... Did you know? In George Washington's days, there were no cameras. One's image was either sculpted or painted. Some paintings of George...
  10. louixo

    My Drug Problem

    My generation just might have been lucky. I had a drug problem when I was younger, but I turned out all right. Take a look and see if this rings a bell I was drug to church on Sunday morning. I was drug to church for wedding and funerals. I was drug to family reunions no matter the weather...
  11. louixo

    B, C, D or E Unit

    Why do you drive the unit size you drive? I see alot of owner operators making changes in thier equipment these days. Most, that I have run into are downsizing to B or C units. Some are going larger. All my years in expediting, I´ve only ran a D unit, but am considering going to an E. The...
  12. louixo

    Like It Is..

    While walking down the street one day a US senator is tragically hit by a truck and dies. His soul arrives in heaven and is met by St. Peter at the entrance."Welcome to heaven," says St. Peter. "Before you settle in, it seems there is a problem. We seldom see a high official round these...
  13. louixo

    THE ANT AND THE GRASSHOPPER

    OLD VERSION The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks he's a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away. Come winter, the ant is warm and well fed. The grasshopper has no food or...
  14. louixo

    A Letter From The President

    You may know they've released John Hinckley from the mental facility for unsupervised visits to his parents home on weekends. For those of you who may be too young to remember .....John Hinckley shot President Ronald Reagan to impress the actress Jodie Foster. This is such a nice letter...
  15. louixo

    Home Remidies and Sage Advice

    1. If you are choking on an ice cube, don't panic! Simply pour a cup of boiling water down your throat and presto! The blockage will be almost instantly removed. 2. Clumsy? Avoid cutting yourself while slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold them while you chop away. 3...
  16. louixo

    Story with a moral...

    Read to the end.... One day a farmer's donkey fell down into a well. The animal cried piteously for hours as the farmer tried to figure out what to do. Finally, he decided the animal was old, and the well needed to be covered up anyway; it just wasn't worth it to retrieve the donkey. He...
  17. louixo

    Some thoughts...

    1. Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I can't even get into my own pants. 2. Marriage changes passion. Suddenly you're in bed with a relative. 3. I saw a woman wearing a sweat shirt with "Guess" on it. So I said "Implants?" She hit me. 4. How come we choose from just two people to run...
  18. louixo

    Remember this??

    Remember the guy who got on a plane with a bomb built into his shoe and tried to light it? Did you know his trial is over? Did you know he was sentenced? Did you see/hear any of the judge's comments on TV/Radio? Didn't think so. Everyone should hear what the judge had to say. Ruling by...
  19. louixo

    Good, Better, Best

    GOOD A Richardson, TX policeman had a perfect spot to watch for speeders, but wasn't getting many. Then he discovered the problem- a 12-year-old boy was standing up the road with a hand painted sign, which read "RADAR TRAP AHEAD". The officer then found a young accomplice down the road with a...
  20. louixo

    Liberal press D-Day Coverage

    HOW THE D-DAY INVASION WOULD BE REPORTED BY TODAY'S LIBERAL PRESS: June 6, 1944: NORMANDY- Three hundred French civilians were killed and thousands more wounded today in the first hours of America's invasion of continental Europe. Casualties were heaviest among women and children. Most of...
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