Storytelling 101
- Thread starter DougTravels
- Start date
inkasnana
Expert Expediter
Cruzer has just been rescued from certain demise, though certain parts of his anatomy have been exposed and shrunk to tiny proportions because of the frigid water. The two headed black cat deftly walked across the taut rescue rope and is now standing on the shore dripping wet and smelling like a wet dog, (blame makeup) and the group of hero's are all crowded around mypie and cruzer, watching with great interest while he begs for a truce. Oh.. and layout is still cowering in the boat while mrs layout berates him and smacks him upside the head. I think that catches everything up.
cruzer
Not a Member
where were we? where we she says,I'll tell you, they were abuiseing cruzer while poor well armed is back at the island trying to hold his own with who knows how many scantily dressed women and nobody seems to have a concern,I meen rum,women,serius radio,I think someone needs to bite the bullet and go help him,,,I mean rescue him,,,join him,maybe layoutshooter should help him he was supposed to be in charge of those women at one time.
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cruzer
Not a Member
WEEELL,I'm goin to the detroiter to shave off the rest of this beard and shower maybe by then this cat will be defeated and we can get on with something else I'm running out of cat material.I realy don't think that key had any thing to do with the cat anyway Ithink it was.....
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DougTravels
Not a Member
all just a diversionary tactic, Just then Wellarmed began to wake up at the island and with fuzzy images all around his bed he said " and you were there Aunt Em and you Uncle Henry" Then in walked that **** lawyer from Wiz of OZ and his court order again. So Ed, thinking real fast sent the pilot girls to walmart for fruit of various selections.
Within 20 minutes the scene was being reshot: Wellarmed was waking up, and this time, there were many scantily clad ladies surrounding him. They had trays of fruit and were feeding him by hand, mango slices, sweet pineapple, beautiful green grapes one had a coconut shell rum drink glass with a straw and was offering wellarmed a drink, everything was going perfectly.
But over on the next set Big John and Phil were still going at it about whether Phils advice meant anything to John, They were almost to blows when streakin stepped in between them and said" hey guys lets calm down here , you see I deliver Jet Engines" .
He would have said more, but John and Phil finally agreed on something and with a couple of hard right hands streakin was down for the count. Rev. Dave walked up and commented what a mess ........
Within 20 minutes the scene was being reshot: Wellarmed was waking up, and this time, there were many scantily clad ladies surrounding him. They had trays of fruit and were feeding him by hand, mango slices, sweet pineapple, beautiful green grapes one had a coconut shell rum drink glass with a straw and was offering wellarmed a drink, everything was going perfectly.
But over on the next set Big John and Phil were still going at it about whether Phils advice meant anything to John, They were almost to blows when streakin stepped in between them and said" hey guys lets calm down here , you see I deliver Jet Engines" .
He would have said more, but John and Phil finally agreed on something and with a couple of hard right hands streakin was down for the count. Rev. Dave walked up and commented what a mess ........
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mypie
Seasoned Expediter
because these idiots haven't yet discovered that the scantily clad ladies are actually spies who have been planted by the evil 2 headed cat to distract the heros from the mission to destroy the cat and find the purpose of the key.
As the camera pans back to the island . . . where Wellarmed arises from his drunken stuper with scantily clad lady spies feeding him poisoned fruit and steal his rum. Still unaware of them being spies they engage him in a game of chase across the island, when the poison takes affects. The scantily clad lady spies set Wellarmed adrift on a rickety little raft encircled by hundreds of man eating sharks, when Cruzer arrives on the island to meet up with Doug and Layshooter.
Layshooter see Wellarmed drifting on the raft encircled by hundreds of man eating sharks and says, "we must save him." DougTravels and Cruzer look at each other with their jaws wide opened and say, "no, no I'm not getting involved in that, this thread is being written by Mypie and well . . . " Doug elaborates, "she had me glued to the side of a trailer with my pants down traveling 80 and thrown into a cactus then she had me glued to the floor of WalMart with a tube of glue shoved up my nose, and well . . .not me, I'm not going in."
And, Cruzer says, "That's nothing. She had me grow a 20' beard, had it cut off, dipped me in a vat of glue, and glued my beard to me, dragging me across the floor, hanging me from a bridge, exposing my man anatomy, being clawed by the 2 headed cat, dropping into the ice cold water, and nearly drowning. You don't think I'm going to challenge Mypie to another battle of wits, do you?" "No, if you want to rescue Wellarmed, you're on your own."
Unafraid of the rath of Mypie, Layshooter . . .
As the camera pans back to the island . . . where Wellarmed arises from his drunken stuper with scantily clad lady spies feeding him poisoned fruit and steal his rum. Still unaware of them being spies they engage him in a game of chase across the island, when the poison takes affects. The scantily clad lady spies set Wellarmed adrift on a rickety little raft encircled by hundreds of man eating sharks, when Cruzer arrives on the island to meet up with Doug and Layshooter.
Layshooter see Wellarmed drifting on the raft encircled by hundreds of man eating sharks and says, "we must save him." DougTravels and Cruzer look at each other with their jaws wide opened and say, "no, no I'm not getting involved in that, this thread is being written by Mypie and well . . . " Doug elaborates, "she had me glued to the side of a trailer with my pants down traveling 80 and thrown into a cactus then she had me glued to the floor of WalMart with a tube of glue shoved up my nose, and well . . .not me, I'm not going in."
And, Cruzer says, "That's nothing. She had me grow a 20' beard, had it cut off, dipped me in a vat of glue, and glued my beard to me, dragging me across the floor, hanging me from a bridge, exposing my man anatomy, being clawed by the 2 headed cat, dropping into the ice cold water, and nearly drowning. You don't think I'm going to challenge Mypie to another battle of wits, do you?" "No, if you want to rescue Wellarmed, you're on your own."
Unafraid of the rath of Mypie, Layshooter . . .
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Highway Star pokes his head out of what's left of his trashed trailer.
"Hey, where'd everyone go? I'm a big star and I'm having a major hissyfit and nobody's coming over to fix things!" The only one on the set is Cheri, carrying a script in the middle of a rewrite. "Production's been shut down. The union found out that expediters aren't unionized and they're refusing to work with us anymore. We have a few recruiters trying to get some temps to fill in, but with everything they're promising them, we'll be over budget before we ever get another camera rolling."
Doug shows up muttering something about writers picking on him. "I'm glad you showed up", said Highway Star. "You started this mess and now it's spinning out of control. It's bad enough we're having union problems, but I can't even get a decently prepared Minneapolis Oyster! How can I be creative in this environment? My character development needs to be nurtured! I'm a BIG STAR, DAMMIT!!!!"
Doug looks down, shaking his head and says...
"Hey, where'd everyone go? I'm a big star and I'm having a major hissyfit and nobody's coming over to fix things!" The only one on the set is Cheri, carrying a script in the middle of a rewrite. "Production's been shut down. The union found out that expediters aren't unionized and they're refusing to work with us anymore. We have a few recruiters trying to get some temps to fill in, but with everything they're promising them, we'll be over budget before we ever get another camera rolling."
Doug shows up muttering something about writers picking on him. "I'm glad you showed up", said Highway Star. "You started this mess and now it's spinning out of control. It's bad enough we're having union problems, but I can't even get a decently prepared Minneapolis Oyster! How can I be creative in this environment? My character development needs to be nurtured! I'm a BIG STAR, DAMMIT!!!!"
Doug looks down, shaking his head and says...
And with that newly appointed Excutive Director Cheri, bounds onto the set now beautifully coiffed and decked out in an Armani clear acrylic jump suit with flashing LED lights on her open towed Gucci pumps, and yells "Holy Poo Poo"!! "That`s a wrap"!! "Put it in the can"! I smell Emmy"!!" (The lovely and talented Cheri has never been known to use profanity, no matter how excited or angry she gets, although onetime on a food warehouse dock in Pascagoula Mississippi, after being ordered to hand re palletize her entire load of sugar free doggie treats, or her bills would not be signed, she was heard to mutter in the face of the dock foreman "Ingest Ka ka and perish you anal cavity of the first order cha cha cha"!
The end?
The end?
DougTravels
Not a Member
6 Months later:
Surrounded by oyster shells, beer cans, rum bottles, and general filth, Highway Star is awaking to yet another day of his drug/alcohol enduced haze.
It has been just a half of a year since the release of the film, and his rocketing to stardom. He has been wondering what has happened to his co-stars in the last few months. Well his wonders would soon be answered, 2 messages had arrived via expedite delivery, the first from Rev. Dave telling him that his place was a mess, the 2nd and most important one was from the Academy telling him the movie had been nominated for 8 Oscars including............
Surrounded by oyster shells, beer cans, rum bottles, and general filth, Highway Star is awaking to yet another day of his drug/alcohol enduced haze.
It has been just a half of a year since the release of the film, and his rocketing to stardom. He has been wondering what has happened to his co-stars in the last few months. Well his wonders would soon be answered, 2 messages had arrived via expedite delivery, the first from Rev. Dave telling him that his place was a mess, the 2nd and most important one was from the Academy telling him the movie had been nominated for 8 Oscars including............
A brand new one created just for this lollapalooza: "Most convoluted-twisty-turny-with switchbacks& cliffhangers-out the wazoo script ever written"
And Dreamer has agreed to accept the award, which will be a shoo-in, because anyone who upsets Dreamer will never write in this town again.
And Dreamer has agreed to accept the award, which will be a shoo-in, because anyone who upsets Dreamer will never write in this town again.
DougTravels
Not a Member
Highway Star could not believe what he read next, he has been nominated for best actor in a lead role! He wondered while he read if this was to be the final post in this thread, I mean alot of fun had been had here, but maybe this was it. Everything has to end sometimes.......or.......
...sometimes not. The phone rang, it was his agent. "We've got an offer on a sequel. Everyone is on board. Tim Burton is slated to direct. It's a brilliant plot. The two headed cat has just given birth to a pair of evil kittens, who were born all hopped up on catnip."
"The cats are determined to take over the world and destroy anyone who gets in their way."
"But it is a cheerleader who holds the key. The cats kitnap a cheerleader from FedEx Community College and brainwash her into believing that she's Patty Hurst. 'Save the Cheerleader, Save the World' with be the theme."
Highway Star says, "Oh, gee, I dunno. Burton's directing? Last time I worked with him he made everyone on the set drink Beatle Juice and made everyone work Eight Days a Week and a Hard Day's Night. His script girl was that insane Day Tripper Eleneanor Rigby, and everything on the set was just Helter Skelter. Maybe we should just Let It Be, I need to go on the Magical Mystery Tour, anyway."
"Then again, can I play the cheerleader?"
"The cats are determined to take over the world and destroy anyone who gets in their way."
"But it is a cheerleader who holds the key. The cats kitnap a cheerleader from FedEx Community College and brainwash her into believing that she's Patty Hurst. 'Save the Cheerleader, Save the World' with be the theme."
Highway Star says, "Oh, gee, I dunno. Burton's directing? Last time I worked with him he made everyone on the set drink Beatle Juice and made everyone work Eight Days a Week and a Hard Day's Night. His script girl was that insane Day Tripper Eleneanor Rigby, and everything on the set was just Helter Skelter. Maybe we should just Let It Be, I need to go on the Magical Mystery Tour, anyway."
"Then again, can I play the cheerleader?"
Dreamer's accepting the award? Just who the h-e-double hockey sticks does he think he is? I'm a BIG STAR!!! And I'll tell you another thing, if Danny Elfman's doin' the music on this new project that, who is it, Turtle?, came up with, I'm outta here. The guy does the Simpsons theme and everyone thinks he's "all that." And, Turtle?!!? Where the heck did he come from? Isn't he too busy telling everyone the way things are?
You people gotta remember which side your bread is buttered on! You can't make it without ME!!!! I'm a BIG STAR!!!!
Highway Star grabs a bottle of Jack and stumbles back to his trailer, muttering something about how the "fools in this town" couldn't survive without him.
You people gotta remember which side your bread is buttered on! You can't make it without ME!!!! I'm a BIG STAR!!!!
Highway Star grabs a bottle of Jack and stumbles back to his trailer, muttering something about how the "fools in this town" couldn't survive without him.
DougTravels
Not a Member
"Look Highway, I got you the cheerleader role here!" his agent pleaded into the phone "You need to come on board, It's a sweetheart of a deal, top billing, points, front end, back end you're getting it all!, it's this or celebrity rehab for almost nothing!"
Highway Star thinks a moment and .........
Highway Star thinks a moment and .........
wellarmed
Not a Member
So everyone just gives up thinking it's just a movie and it's over, well cruzer and I left stand ins to finish up and thank god we did,mypie was brutal,the stand in for cruzer won't even return our calls and to think a respectable married man like myself on a desert island with scantily dressed women,I can appreciate that considering what happened to cruzer.Actually cruzer and I have completed the mission and have captured the two headed cat just after giving birth,so we captured its offspring also.We had to travel to the UK to complete this mission but we have succeded.And we both agree turtle is a spy for the two headed cat,he's still trying to misslead everyone and here is our proof,just click on the attachments.
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News Flash: Daily Variety reports Story Telling 101 has finally jumped the shark.
Wellarmed, encircled by man eating sharks, literally jumps the shark in fine Jump The Shark fashion and takes the narrative to the first person, signaling the death knell for the project. Harvey Weinstein has announced Miramax will pull their backing, leaving the production without a distributor. Director Tim Burton has indicated he will move on to his new film, "9", which stars Christopher Plummer as a domineering war veteran, Martin Landau as an aged inventor, John C. Reilly as a stalwart mechanic, Crispin Glover as a visionary and artist, and Jennifer Connelly as a brave warrior. The cast will be playing animated rag dolls in a post-apocalyptic parallel universe where the very legacy of humanity is at stake. Elijah Wood (rag doll #9) displays the quality of leadership that may help the rag-tag bunch survive. "Ya can't make this stuff up," says Burton.
Suddenly, the phone rings, rudely bringing Highway Star back to reality. He sets aside his copy of Daily Variety and reaches for the phone....
Wellarmed, encircled by man eating sharks, literally jumps the shark in fine Jump The Shark fashion and takes the narrative to the first person, signaling the death knell for the project. Harvey Weinstein has announced Miramax will pull their backing, leaving the production without a distributor. Director Tim Burton has indicated he will move on to his new film, "9", which stars Christopher Plummer as a domineering war veteran, Martin Landau as an aged inventor, John C. Reilly as a stalwart mechanic, Crispin Glover as a visionary and artist, and Jennifer Connelly as a brave warrior. The cast will be playing animated rag dolls in a post-apocalyptic parallel universe where the very legacy of humanity is at stake. Elijah Wood (rag doll #9) displays the quality of leadership that may help the rag-tag bunch survive. "Ya can't make this stuff up," says Burton.
Suddenly, the phone rings, rudely bringing Highway Star back to reality. He sets aside his copy of Daily Variety and reaches for the phone....
DougTravels
Not a Member
"Hello", Highway Mutters. The voice on the other end is his agent again.
"There's been a horrific accident............
"There's been a horrific accident............