DougTravels is Bored Storytelling Episode II

[mypie]

OK, Doug is complaining that he is bored. We had a lot of fun for a couple of weeks exhibiting our creative writing abilities (or inabilities as the case may be).

So, we are going to start another Storytelling thread, only this time we have to have rules so we don't get in trouble with any of the advertisers on EO.

No badmouthing the EO advertisers OK?

Everything else is fair game!

I will start . . .

Once upon a time DougTravels was sitting in his truck in northeastern Maryland, bored and wondering what he should do to entertain himself. Just then a knock came to his door and . . .

 

[DougTravels]

it was a 2 headed cat (oh yeah forget that)


It was this funny looking ........

 

[mypie]

a funny looking old lady with a 6" long nose with warts on it. She handed DougTravels a tube of glue.

He waved her off and said, "No, no, I don't do that any more."

She replied, "But, this is no ordinary glue. It will make you . . ."

 

[Yesteryear]

two headed turtle. The turtle says, "Hey Dougtravels, I heard your bored. I have an idea that should keep you entertained for a little while. We can go across the street and visit . . .

 

[DougTravels]

thats when doug realized there were 2 at his door he grabbed the glue without finding out what it did and threw the turtle into his truck when...

 

[mypie]

the old hag cast a spell and changed the turtle into a lot lizard and the glue into KY Jelly.

Doug now found himself in quite a predictament.

 

[DougTravels]

He was just about to throw her out when the Police pulled in. The 5-0 was almost past his truck when........

 

[mypie]

he felt compelled to sing, "Bad boys, bad boys, whatcha gonna do, whatcha gonna do when they come for you . . ."

 

[DougTravels]

his singing was more than the lizard could take,she bolted from his truck and took off running, The cops saw her running and gave chase, with her gone Doug went back to checking EO when this junkie looking guy approached and said, Hey man I need a fix. Doug said I have no drugs. He said no man you don't get it, I gave up EO cold turkey and my wife Diane won't even let me read 1 thread! I'm jonesing real bad just 1 thread man even a tech one PLEASE! So Doug..........

 

[Yesteryear]

decided to take mercy on the poor junky . . .

 

[mypie]

said, "So, where's Diane?"

"Oh, she's on the other side of the lot." the junky replied.

Doug said, "Ok, Phil just come in and don't be seen. I'm not going to face Diane's rath for letting you read a thread."

So Phil climbed up into the truck, "keep the light down low." And, Doug passed the laptop over to him, upon touching the laptop his eyes began to glow bright orange. And, the tips of his fingers shook in anticipation of just making 1 post. When . . .

 

[DougTravels]

he saw the thread Where's Ateam Anyone seen Phil? and he lost it, He Screamed you........

 

[mypie]

From the background the silence is broken by a very angry and resounding "Cut! What is this crap! After the last fiasco I demanded Union Writers! Whose writing the *&%@?!?", the Director demanded.

In walks Cheri, the dutiful Script Girl, "Well, Sir, I believe this script is being authored by DougTravels himself."

"DougTravels is writing his own script?!? He can't do that. Didn't he want adventure? Didn't he want excitement? Now, I want to take this back to the scene with the lot lizard and the KY jelly. He wanted adventure and he's going to get it. He can't just write scenes that he doesn't want to do out. He'll ruin the whole film."

"Now, this time I want some real action! Does everybody understand that?"

Crickets cherping.

"Good, then everybody understands. Take if from the lot lizard. And, ACTION!"

 

[Turtle]

The lot lizard looks at Doug, Doug looks back, seeing that she's actually kinda cute.

​

Or maybe not.
​

 

[DougTravels]

just then the CB crackled and someone said "Here lizard, lizard, lizard" Doug grabbed the mic and said in his deepest voice"I ain't got no panties on" The lizard said "WAIT don't scare them off, that sounds like......

 

[guido4475]

guido4475 so he can chase them around the t/a parking lot in ontario with his remote-controlled helicopter.

 

[DougTravels]

Doug, looked at the lizard and said, "Guido in Ontario?, chase who?" He then realized that this lizard was out of her mind and was a crazed ghoul. Using that he came up with a plan he began pointing out the window and shouting "the helicopter its coming right at us!" She took the bait, leaped from his truck and......

 

[mypie]

right into the arms of Guido, forcing him to drop the control divice and causing his plane to come crashing to the ground in a ball of fire. Enraged, Guido threw the skanky little lot lizard to the ground saying, "look what you did to my plane! How do you plan to pay for that?"

The lizard said, "Well, I have a few ideas on how we can get straight on this. Why don't we . . . ?"

 

[inkasnana]

..."hop back into this truck over here and, hey, wait a minute. Where did the truck go?" said the lot lizard looking around the parking lot.

Doug, seeing his chance, had thrown the truck into gear and skedaddled out of the lot as fast as he could, knocking over 2 garbage cans and barely missing a pedestrian who spilled his coffee all over himself while jumping out of the path of the speeding truck. "Whew", said Doug while looking at the receding truck stop in his mirror. "That was close! No wonder my mama warned me about places like that!"

With no where in particular to go, Doug drove aimlessly down the highway until several hours later when a thought suddenly entered his head...

 

[DougTravels]

why do people take these several month balloon journeys around the world? We all know the world makes 1 rotation each day, why wouldn't they just fly up real high, and wait 1 day for the world to rotate? Stupid idiots, Doug thought, and then he saw something that was strangely erotic yet quite scary it was.....