DougTravels is Bored Storytelling Episode II
- Thread starter mypie
- Start date
The director steps in again. "Cut!! Cut!! People, we've got to get a grip on this script. It's really out there this time. Am I reading this right? 'A thought entered Dougs head.' I mean, c'mon, let's try to make it somewhat real. And, what's this Kentucky Jelly? I've never heard of it. Is there some exotic fruit that only grows in Kentucky? I know sequals are tougher, but we can do this. The political angle just might work. Let's pick it up from Baracks stimulus package".
DougTravels
Not a Member
Then wise old moot came floating down. He threw Doug a bagel and said "these are good with Kentucky Jelly!" Doug said "Moot ole wise one do you have any advice, about this stimulus plan?" Moot thought for a moment and said "Send Obama and his plan to the soapbox, then assemble the team, there is a convoy of renegade Mexican truckers heading to..........
DougTravels
Not a Member
this is one huge Mexican and Canadian Dastardly plan so get the whole gang together this may just be our toughest mission yet" With the news Doug shined his Expediter Truck Logo high into the night sky summoning all of the heroes to the hide out. It was the next day when all began to arrive..........
mypie
Seasoned Expediter
because he heard that the skanky little lot lizard was setting up shop in it and needed his money to pay for the services.
Just then, a truck came barreling past DougTravels blasting Mexican music. DougTravels thought again, which was really a significant event (2 thoughts in 1 day - the world never ceases to amaze me), as he marvelled in his accomplishment suddenly the thought was gone. Oh, yeah, Mexican Truck Drivers! They're going to Canada! But, they don't have their speed limiters set! As they sped past, Doug noticed smoke coming from the back of their trailer. He opened his window to sniff the air to double check. Yup, smoke alright! And, then he started feeling a little light headed. There were Mexicans smoking pot in the back of the trailer.
DougTravels thought (wow!) I have to find the Border Patrol, when he began swirving all over the road. Doug was high off of the tail wind! He found the Border Patrol and as he tried to explain that they should pull over the Mexican truck, he was handed a pee cup. Now, Doug knew that he could never pass that test so he went into the waiting area where he saw Inkansana. He asked her if she would pee in the cup for him? Inkansana replied, ". . . "
Just then, a truck came barreling past DougTravels blasting Mexican music. DougTravels thought again, which was really a significant event (2 thoughts in 1 day - the world never ceases to amaze me), as he marvelled in his accomplishment suddenly the thought was gone. Oh, yeah, Mexican Truck Drivers! They're going to Canada! But, they don't have their speed limiters set! As they sped past, Doug noticed smoke coming from the back of their trailer. He opened his window to sniff the air to double check. Yup, smoke alright! And, then he started feeling a little light headed. There were Mexicans smoking pot in the back of the trailer.
DougTravels thought (wow!) I have to find the Border Patrol, when he began swirving all over the road. Doug was high off of the tail wind! He found the Border Patrol and as he tried to explain that they should pull over the Mexican truck, he was handed a pee cup. Now, Doug knew that he could never pass that test so he went into the waiting area where he saw Inkansana. He asked her if she would pee in the cup for him? Inkansana replied, ". . . "
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"...You'll have to go to my website, cleanandgolden.com. You can purchase all the clean product you need." This really frustrated Doug as he watched the Mexicans sail through customs. The officers were so impressed with the way the Mexicans could bounce the front of the truck, they applauded and waved them through.
Doug didn't know what to do. "Where am I going to find some pizza and a Hostess cherry pie? That really sounds good right now." Just then, he heard a boat coming up the river. It was Layout Shooter and the scantily clad fuel island attendants! "I saw the beacon and I hope we can help", said Layout. "We'll have to..."
Doug didn't know what to do. "Where am I going to find some pizza and a Hostess cherry pie? That really sounds good right now." Just then, he heard a boat coming up the river. It was Layout Shooter and the scantily clad fuel island attendants! "I saw the beacon and I hope we can help", said Layout. "We'll have to..."
cruzer
Not a Member
get doug to settle for a cheri mypie for now,maybe that will keep him from playing with those bugs flying in front of the beacon,he's blocking our signal and Termite289,Pjjjjj,Bluejaybee,Routejumper,louixo,Alwaysconfused,moose,Teamjdw,Flattop,DoggieDaddy and Aristotle have not found us yet.We will need all our forces and any additional help we can get,there must be 12 drivers in each of those mexican cabovers.Oh yeah,layout,thank you for bringing the fuel attendents we will...........
mypie
Seasoned Expediter
to infiltrate the Mexican trucks going over the bridge over the U.S. from Mexico to Canada. "But, before we can do anything we must get back to DC in 20 hours." Doug said.
"But, no expediter can make if from Ontario, CA to DC in only 20 hours!" replied Mypie.
It was then that DougTravels remembered his thought. Hmmmmmmmmmmm, Awwwwww, Hmmmmmmm. So, off Doug went to strap a hot air balloon to his truck. Soon he was filling it with hot air and he would fly up high enough to let the earth revolve around to the east coast.
Most unfortunately, however, Doug did not realize the error of his plan. When he began to get in the upper atmosphere, the air began getting thin and he fainted because of lack of oxygen.
The other heros watched as Doug's hot air balloon drifted aimlessly over the Pacific Ocean. Then to the rescue came Guido. "I know, I know, I'll take my remote control plane and pop the balloon and we'll swim out and rescue DougTravels from . . ."
"But, no expediter can make if from Ontario, CA to DC in only 20 hours!" replied Mypie.
It was then that DougTravels remembered his thought. Hmmmmmmmmmmm, Awwwwww, Hmmmmmmm. So, off Doug went to strap a hot air balloon to his truck. Soon he was filling it with hot air and he would fly up high enough to let the earth revolve around to the east coast.
Most unfortunately, however, Doug did not realize the error of his plan. When he began to get in the upper atmosphere, the air began getting thin and he fainted because of lack of oxygen.
The other heros watched as Doug's hot air balloon drifted aimlessly over the Pacific Ocean. Then to the rescue came Guido. "I know, I know, I'll take my remote control plane and pop the balloon and we'll swim out and rescue DougTravels from . . ."
DougTravels
Not a Member
this sure death situation. Then the high altitude began to take its toll on the various glues that hold together the moldings and numerous things inside Dougs cab. It began to evaporate into the closed cab of the truck. Doug's limp body began to rejuvenate, and a crazed grin began to appear on his face. His eyes popped open but were crossed, it was then that he saw the remote control planes (it was just one but you see his eyes were crossed) they were headed right for the balloons (again his eyes were still crossed)in his glue induced stuper he grabbed his CBs Mics (For the 3rd time he is seeing double get it jeez) and yelled into them..........
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mypie
Seasoned Expediter
"I see trails! Wow! Check this out! Do you see it too?" he hesitated, "Oh yeah, I can't swim!"
That's when the plane hit the balloon sending DougTravels, truck and all plumeting downward toward the ocean. As the truck fell, and the ocean was getting closer, and closer, Doug said "Weeeeeeee! This is fun!"
Guido, scratching his crotch, said, "Come on gang, let's grab this boat and go out and get him." That is when . . .
That's when the plane hit the balloon sending DougTravels, truck and all plumeting downward toward the ocean. As the truck fell, and the ocean was getting closer, and closer, Doug said "Weeeeeeee! This is fun!"
Guido, scratching his crotch, said, "Come on gang, let's grab this boat and go out and get him." That is when . . .
DougTravels
Not a Member
Somehow Doug got his composure together and remembered that there was a Scuba thread. He signed on to EO (in mid air mind you) And posted in the Scuba thread for help.
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With the help of EO, by the time he hit the water he was a certified diver and was outfitted with complete diving equipment. Hitting the cold water just totally, like, killed his buzz. That's when the reality set in that he would need a new truck.
He swam to the surface just in time to see Layout and the scantily clad fuel attendants there to pick him up. They pulled him into the boat. "I'm cold and I need a new truck", said Doug. The fuel attendants immediately surrounded him and began warming him. This is when Doug knew that being the star of a convoluted website story was everything he hoped it would be.
Layout started heading to shore. "Don't worry Doug, I heard of a place that can have you in a truck ASAP for the low, low price of just $3,700 a month! Is that a deal or what?"
"Yeah, whatever", said Doug, mesmerized by the attention he was receiving.
"SNAP OUT OF IT, BOY", yelled Layout. "Quit thinking with, ahh, that part of your body! You've got business to take care of." This is when Doug knew that he could have a lot more fun with more control over the storyline.
The boat reached shore and they headed off to the truck dealership...
He swam to the surface just in time to see Layout and the scantily clad fuel attendants there to pick him up. They pulled him into the boat. "I'm cold and I need a new truck", said Doug. The fuel attendants immediately surrounded him and began warming him. This is when Doug knew that being the star of a convoluted website story was everything he hoped it would be.
Layout started heading to shore. "Don't worry Doug, I heard of a place that can have you in a truck ASAP for the low, low price of just $3,700 a month! Is that a deal or what?"
"Yeah, whatever", said Doug, mesmerized by the attention he was receiving.
"SNAP OUT OF IT, BOY", yelled Layout. "Quit thinking with, ahh, that part of your body! You've got business to take care of." This is when Doug knew that he could have a lot more fun with more control over the storyline.
The boat reached shore and they headed off to the truck dealership...
mypie
Seasoned Expediter
Where Doug asked for a loan from Phil to purchase a truck as the scantilly clad fuel attendants sat on the hood and demonstrated all the options available.
. . . Meanwhile, Cheri, Inkansana, and Mypie stood on the sidelines rolling their eyes and saying "Men are such simple creatures. It only takes one half naked girl to distract them from their mission. If we are to be successful at saving the United States from the Mexican truck drivers - we will have to do it ourselves."
Phil denied the loan request by Doug, which left Doug only able to afford a Big Wheel.
. . . Meanwhile, Cheri, Inkansana, and Mypie stood on the sidelines rolling their eyes and saying "Men are such simple creatures. It only takes one half naked girl to distract them from their mission. If we are to be successful at saving the United States from the Mexican truck drivers - we will have to do it ourselves."
Phil denied the loan request by Doug, which left Doug only able to afford a Big Wheel.
DougTravels
Not a Member
So the girls headed off to finish the mission. When they heard over the CB that 50 Mexican Trucks were about to be loaded at the Brach's candy company. They were to be loaded with (Now get this) BRIDGE MIX! This must be.............
inkasnana
Expert Expediter
what the Mexicans are using to bribe the border patrol with to gain entry into Canada. Either that or they really have the munchies after smoking all that pot. Either way, there's going to be an oink-fest somewhere! Of course, with all that candy they are going to need something to wash it down with so the next logical stop for the convoy would be...
Meanwhile, all of the guys were standing around watching Doug with envy as he pedaled his shiny new Big Wheel around the parking lot. Each was hoping for a chance to try it out while Doug laughed with glee and kept repeating "It's mine! It's all mine! Wheeeeee!"
Meanwhile, all of the guys were standing around watching Doug with envy as he pedaled his shiny new Big Wheel around the parking lot. Each was hoping for a chance to try it out while Doug laughed with glee and kept repeating "It's mine! It's all mine! Wheeeeee!"
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DougTravels
Not a Member
with Doug enjoying his new toy we cut back to the girls conversation ......anyplace that sells Margarita's and Coronna's. Wait one of the girls said, "didn't Moot say that they planned a bridge to Canada? Now we've got 50 Renegade Mexican Drivers filling their trucks with Bridge Mix. Could these Renegades be so stupid as to think that......