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A State Highway employee stopped at a farm to talk with an old Iowa farmer. He told the farmer, "I need to inspect your farm for a possible new road." The old farmer said, "OK, but you can't go in that field over there." The Highway employee said, "I have the authority of the State Government to...

During a visit to the mental asylum, a visitor asked The Director what the criterion was which defined whether or not a patient should be institutionalized. "Well," said the Director, "we fill up a bathtub, then we offer a teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to the patient and ask him or her to...

I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart. FOR EXAMPLE: One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting...

A thermodynamics professor had written a take home exam for his graduate students. It had one question: "Is ##### exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)? Support your answer with a proof." Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools...

Cars we drove back in the day. A little nostalgia music maestro, please! http://thefiftiesandsixties.com/CarsWeDrove.htm

Having a Bad Day? check it out these actual cases. Fire authorities in California found a corpse in a burned-out section of forest while assessing the damage done by a forest fire. The deceased male was dressed in a full wet suit, complete with scuba tanks on his back, flippers, and face mask...

Tech support: What kind of computer do you have? Female customer: A white one... =============== Customer: Hi, this is Celine. I can't get my diskette out. Tech support: Have you tried pushing the Button? Customer: Yes, sure, it's really stuck. Tech support: That doesn't sound good; I'll make...

One day a guy dies and finds himself in #####. As he is wallowing in despair, he has his first meeting with the devil... Satan: "Why so glum?" Guy: "What do you think? I'm in #####!" Satan: "#####'s not so bad. We actually have a lot of fun down here. You a drinking man?" Guy: "Sure, I love...

The wife came home early and found her husband in their bedroom making love to a very attractive young woman. And was somewhat upset. "You are a disrespectful pig!" she cried. "How dare you do this to me -- a faithful wife, the mother of your children ! I'm leaving you. I want a divorce straight...

You stay up for 16 hours He stays up for days on end. ____________ _________ ____ You take a warm shower to help you wake up. He goes days or weeks without running water and washes up with a wet one. ____________ _________ _____ You complain of a 'headache', and call in sick...

Due to a power outage, only one paramedic responded to the call. The house was very dark so the paramedic asked Kathleen , a 3-yr old girl to hold a flashlight high over her mommy so he could see while he helped deliver the baby. Very diligently, Kathleen did as she was asked. Heidi pushed and...

In a number of carefully controlled trials, scientists have been able to demonstrate that if we drink one quart of water each day, at the end of a year, we would have absorbed more than one quart of Escherichia coli [the E.coli bacteria that is found in feces]. In other words, we are consuming...

A young guy from Kentucky moves to California and goes to a big "everything under one roof" department store looking for a job. The Manager says, "Do you have any sales experience?" The kid says "Yeah. I was a salesman back in Kentucky ." Well, the boss liked the kid and gave him the job...

A priest from Ireland was assigned to a Texas diocese. One morning, Father O'Malley rose from his bed. It was a fine spring day in his new Texas mission parish. He walked to the window of his bedroom to get a deep breath of the beautiful day outside. He then noticed there was a ##### lying dead...

Customer: "I've been calling 700-1000 for two days and can't get through; can you help?" Operator: "Where did you get that number, sir?" Customer: "It's on the door of your business." Operator: "Sir, those are the hours that we are open."...

Mecca - Muslim leaders from around the world hastily assembled today in the most holy city of Islam for an emergency meeting to discuss alarming reports that not all is well in Paradise. "It appears that some of our young martyrs are displeased with the virgins they have received in Paradise,"...

The most despicable acts of deceit ongoing in this country are the lies and hypocrisy perpetrated by the people seen in this short video. These people are so blinded by their hate for our President that they have betrayed their own consciences. This should be seen by everyone in America...

While I was watching the football games last weekend, my wife and I got into a conversation about life and death, and the need for living wills. During the course of the conversation I told her that I never wanted to exist in a vegetative state, dependent on some machine and taking...

On a regular basis, anthropogenic global warming skeptics wonder how folks like soon-to-be-Dr. Al Gore and his band of not so merry climate change sycophants can so easily get seemingly intelligent people to buy their junk science hook, line, and sinker. With this in mind, the comedy duo of...

We in the USA and those in Europe protest over many things. Protesting is a civilized way of showing your displeasure, peacefully in a democratic society. The Koreans take protesting to a new level. Why don´t they get the publicity from the networks...