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SURVIVOR, TEXAS STYLE Due to the popularity of the "Survivor" shows, Texas is planning to do one entitled, "Survivor, Texas-Style." The contestants will all start in Dallas , then drive to Waco , Austin , San Antonio , over to Houston , then down to Brownsville .. They will then proceed...

Man steals people's banking information. [VIDEO]

When Jane initially met Tarzan in the jungle, she was attracted to him, and during her questions about his life, she asked him how he had sex? 'Tarzan not know sex' he replied. Jane explained to him what sex was. Tarzan said 'Oh,....Tarzan use knot hole in trunk of...

Ray Stevens at it again. TREASURES ONCE LOST - The Mississippi Squirrel Revival.flv

Governor Sarah Palin has left office. It is time to repair friendships with the other party. The rest of the world cannot understand how, after bitter election campaigns, American politicians can kiss and make-up. For instance, Gov. Palin has invited, to her great state of Alaska ...

A driver is stuck in a traffic jam going into downtown Chicago. Nothing is moving north or south. Suddenly a man knocks on his window. The driver rolls down his window and asks, 'What happened, what's the hold up?' 'Terrorists have kidnapped Barack Obama, Hillary Clinton, Barney Frank...

Whatever you give a woman, she will make greater. If you give her sperm, she'll give you a baby. If you give her a house, she'll give you a home. If you give her groceries, she'll give you a meal. If you give her a smile, she'll give you her heart. She multiplies and enlarges what is given to...

This is an update of uses. I posted this some time ago. Before you read to the end, does anybody know what the main ingredient of WD-40 is? Don't lie and don't cheat. WD-40. Who knew? I had a neighbor who had bought a new pickup. I got up very early one Sunday morning and saw...

There was a man who really took care of his body. He lifted weights and jogged 6 miles a day. One day, he took a look in the mirror and noticed that he was tanned all over except his willy. So he decided to do something about it. He went to the beach, completely undressed himself and...

More demands from Islam - 24 Translation(s) | dotSUB

I've often been asked, 'What do you old folks do now that you're retired'? Well..I'm fortunate to have a chemical engineering background, and one of the things I enjoy most is turning beer, wine, Scotch, and margaritas into urine. And I'm really good at it, too!!

* Your fences need to be horse-high, pig-tight and bull-strong. * *Keep skunks and bankers at a distance.* *Life is simpler when you plow around the stump.* * A bumble bee is considerably faster than a John Deere tractor.* * Words that soak into your ears are whispered....not...

Four married guys go fishing. After an hour, the following conversation took place: First guy: 'You have no idea what I had to do to be able to come out fishing this weekend. I had to promise my wife that I would paint every room in the house next weekend.' Second guy: 'That is nothing...

An older gentleman had an appointment to see the urologist who shared offices with several other doctors. The waiting room was filled with patients. As he approached the receptionist's desk, he noticed that the receptionist was a large unfriendly woman who looked like a Sumo wrestler. He...

A man who just died is delivered to a local mortuary wearing an expensive, expertly tailored black suit. The female blonde mortician asks the deceased's wife how she would like the body dressed. She points out that the man does look good in the black suit he is already wearing. The widow...

If you don't laugh at this one, your dead! Ethel was a bit of a demon in her wheelchair, and loved to charge around th= e nursing home, taking corners on one wheel and getting up to maximum speed= on the long corridors. Because the poor woman was one sandwich short of a picnic the other...

From the L. A. Times 1. 40% of all workers in L. A. County ( L. A. County has 10.2 million people)are working for cash and not paying taxes. This is because they are predominantly illegal immigrants working without a green card. 2. 95% of warrants for murder in Los Angeles are for illegal...

WALK NAKED IN AMERICA DAY Don't forget to mark your calendars. As you may already know, it is a sin for a Muslim male to see any woman other than his wife naked. He must commit suicide if he does. So next Saturday at 4 PM Eastern Time, all American women are asked to walk out of their house...

Don't know if you all saw the article last week about Barbara Boxer admonishing a Brigadier General because he addressed her as Ma'am and not Senator before a Senate hearing. Anyway this is a letter from a Guard Aviator and Captain for Alaska Air Lines. Babs: You were so right...

~ Last Thursday Night Around Midnight, A Woman From Houston , Texas Was Arrested, Jailed, And Charged With Manslaughter For Shooting A Man 6 Times In The Back As He Was Running Away With Her Purse. ~ The Following Monday Morning...