It's a Team's Life

Dissension in the Caffcadia

By Linda Caffee
Posted Jul 29th 2018 6:42AM

Due to a series of events I have really had some difficult docks to back into that not only had me stressed but Bob stressed and this is not a good combination.  

As you might guess Bob’s motions for what he wanted me to do get bigger and wilder and then I overreacted and it became a case of moving back and forth wildly as I backed following his exaggerated directions and me overreacting.

In tight situations, it is best to back easily and with as little maneuvering as possible.   My confidence was taking a beating and frustrating Bob and it was time for a timeout.  As a woman my first thoughts were “I am never backing AGAIN” and then I went to well I will back into spots at the travel plazas, and then to well I will back into easy docks….

So, Bob also knows (once again as you might imagine) that my confidence is going downhill, my frustration is going through the roof, and we need to find a better way of communicating.  This week I had a pretty easy back into a dock and Bob remembering my frustration stayed still and only used motions that I was getting close to the bumper pads.  If I must say so myself a perfect back right where I needed to be the first time.

Bob next said, “Hey, I meant to mention yesterday that was a great backing job!” Well wow did I feel good after that comment and my confidence went up a few notches.  Funny how the carrot works much better than a stick. 

After forty years of marriage I know we will work our signals out once again and I will be easily backing into those tight spots with us reading each other’s minds once again.  It is a lot easier and quicker to tear down confidence than it is to build it up.

Remember to say "good job" even if it is routine and to complement each other when it is deserved.  Marriage is not always easy and neither is backing into docks…

Bob & Linda Caffee

TeamCaffee

Saint Louis MO

Expediters since January 2005

[email protected]

 

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