I have a simple solution to eliminate @$ian carp. Before I reveal my plan, you insensitive clods must stop referring to these fish as @$ian carp. In the great state of Minnesota where nice people live, these fish are called invasive carp, ya.
Here's the plan; when the invasive carp reach the Great Lakes, we introduce lampreys. These lampreys will suck the life out of the carp. As the lamprey population increases and thrives, we introduce electric eels and encourage inter-species breeding. The result is giant eels that generate electricity. Enough electricity to power the Great Lakes states and much of the Northeast.
The scales are too thick on the carp for the lamprey to do any good, they only go after fish with very light, or no scales. So that won't work. Obama will also won't allow the electric eels for a couple of reasons. They fart, so they contribute to global warming. Also, there is no way for the feds to tax the eels, so there is NO way this plan will work.
As to their name, they ARE invasive carp, but so is every other species of carp in North America. They were imported from Asia, as opposed to Europe where the other invasive carp were imported from. SO, to be correct we have to call them invasive ASIAN carp, OR, invasive carp imported from Asia, OR, swimming crap.
What WOULD work is to put welfare people to work, netting the carp and killing them. That would accomplish two things, it would eventually get rid of the carp, AND, we would gain some benefit for the welfare money we are putting out. A win win for all.
