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This is Ray Stevens at his best... YouTube - squirrel music video

My dad used to say "the only substitute for experience is to be 18".

This was done by a 15 year old girl. http://www.youtube.com/v/ervaMPt4Ha0&autoplay=1

oneliners

A blonde was weed-eating her yard and accidentally cut off the tail of her cat which was hiding in the grass. She rushed her cat, along with the tail over to WALMART! Why WALMART??? HELLOOOOOOOOO! WALMART is the largest retailer in the world!!!

How could you ever verify a persons contribution to the growth and betterment of the expediting industry? Is this going to be an actual hall in an actual building, or just a computer list voted on by the few claiming to represent the many? Or, are we talking an EO hall of fame for the growth and...

I think what Terry did here was give a good barometer of the approximate costs of owning and operating the same van for 5 years. There is no way to come up with an exact figure. What happens if you need major repairs that you have to pay for? If the price of fuel fluctuates?, and on and on. As...

A blonde and her husband are lying in bed listening to the next door neighbor's dog. It has been in the backyard barking for hours and hours. The blonde jumps up out of bed and says 'I've had enough of this'. She goes downstairs. The blonde finally comes back up to bed and her husband...

See how quick you really are. http://www.bbc.co.uk./science/humanbody/sleep/sheep/reaction_version5.swf

This is interesting. Just answer the questions. ABC News: Match-O-Matic

A man owned a small farm in Saskatchewan. The Saskatchewan Provincial Wage & Hours Department claimed he was not paying proper wages to his help and sent an agent out to interview him. "I need a list of your employees and how much you pay them," demanded the agent. "Well," replied the...

This is hours and hours of listening pleasure. I hope you like it.All the big hits from 1950-1982 at your fingertipe. Great site!! Playa Cofi Jukebox - Our Musical Heritage

Saw a billboard that said: 'Need help, call Jesus.' 1-800-005-3787 ...Out of curiosity I did. A Mexican showed up with a tow truck

A duck hunter was out enjoying a nice morning on the marsh when he decided to take a leak. He walked over to a tree and propped up his gun. Just then a gust of wind blew the gun fell over, and discharged, shooting him in the genitals. Several hours later...

Political Correctness "Political Correctness is a doctrine, fostered by a delusional, illogical, liberal minority and rabidly promoted by an unscrupulous mainstream media, which holds forth the proposition that it is entirely possible to pick up a turd by the clean end."

Chien Danseur

US Navy Presidential Ceremonial Honor Guard Drill Team US Navy Drill Team

A lady was shopping at the local supermarket where she selected: A half-gallon of 2% milk A carton of eggs A quart of orange juice A head of lettuce A 2 lb. can of coffee A 1 lb. package of bacon As she was unloading her items on the conveyor belt to check out, a drunk standing behind...

Customer: Hi, this is Celine . I can't get my diskette out. Tech support: Have you tried pushing the Button? Customer: Yes, sure, it's really stuck. Tech support: That doesn't sound good; I'll make a note. Customer: No , wait a minute.. I hadn't inserted it yet... it's still on my...

Here is the problem…. HOW DO YOU RECRUIT PEOPLE INTO A BUSINESS? See the answer below: Put about 100 bricks in some particular order in a closed room with an open window. Then send 2 or 3 candidates in the room and close the door. Leave them alone and come back after 6 hours and then...