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Apparently the police asked Tiger’s wife how many times she hit him. She said “I don’t know exactly, but put me down for a 5.” Tiger Woods is so rich that he owns lots of expensive cars. Now he has a hole-in-one. What’s the difference between a car and a golf ball? Tiger can drive a ball...

This is the future...should be here now. YouTube - Top Gear - General Motors hy wire

There is one Christmas Carol that has always baffled me. What in the world do leaping lords, French hens, swimming swans, and especially the partridge who won't come out of the pear tree have to do with Christmas? This week, I found out. From 1558 until 1829, Roman...

The Perfect Dump - Every once in a while, each of us experiences a perfect dump, it's rare, but a thing of beauty in all respects. You sit down expecting the worst, but what you get is a smooth sliding, fartless masterpiece that breaks the water with the splashless grace of an expert diver. But...

THE ANT AND THE GRASSHOPPER Two Different Versions.................. Two Different Morals OLD VERSION The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks the ant is a fool and laughs and...

How many times have you heard that statement? THE LAW IS THE LAW So "if” the US government determines that it is against the law for the words "under God" to be on our money, then, so be it. And "if " that same government decides that the "Ten...

Out of his own mouth: Theo Spark: Video: 7 Lies In Under 2 Minutes

The irony of this article appearing in the English edition of Pravda (Russian on-line newspaper) defies description. Why can a Russian newspaper print the following yet the American media can't/won't see it... OR PRINT IT? American Capitalism Gone With A Whimper It must be said...

Rules of Marriage, as described by kids..... 1. HOW DO YOU DECIDE WHO TO MARRY? -You got to find somebody who likes the same stuff. Like, if you like sports, she should like it that you like sports, and she should keep the chips and dip coming. - - Alan, age 10 -No person...

Grandma and Grandpa were visiting Their kids overnight. When Grandpa found a bottle of Viagra in His son's medicine cabinet, he asked About using one of the pills. The son said, "I don't think you should Take one Dad; they're very strong And very expensive." "How much?" asked...

I recall my first time with a condom, I was 16 or so. I went in to buy a packet of condoms at the pharmacy. There was this beautiful woman assistant behind the counter, and she could see that I was new at it. She handed me the package and asked if I knew how to...

Three women, two younger, and one senior citizen, were sitting naked in a sauna. Suddenly there was a beeping sound. The young woman pressed her forearm and the beep stopped. The others looked at her questioningly. 'that was my pager,' she said. I have a microchip under the skin of my arm. A...

I'm not single, but I used to be, and I also used to read the singles ads. I also read somewhere, that 35% of the participants on singles boards were married. It was rare that you saw an ad that was different. I lost count of how many women are supposedly out there that loved "long walks on the...

Santa asked me to contact all my expediting cohorts, and collect their Christmas wishes, and then send them on to the Pole. He's trying to save some time, and avoid all of you coming in to sit on his lap individually. He, knows you're busy also, trying to save a buck or two while making a buck...

This past Thursday 13 American Soldiers were killed and another 30 wounded at a horrific mass shooting at US Army installation, Ft Hood Texas. As I watched in horror and then anger I recalled my two years of final service in the Army as a Battalion Commander at Ft Hood, 2002-2004. My wife and...

Obama seems oblivious to the shambles about him By Jack Kelly – Jewish World Review Nov. 24, 2009 President Obama took his massive ego and sparse historical knowledge to Asia last week. The results were so ugly even the New York Times took notice. "Obama's Pacific Trip Encounters...

CHANGE Not long ago I read a joke... It said all the politicians running for president are promising change to the American people. We send them billions and billions of tax dollars and they send us the change. Funny? Not really; there is too much truth in it to be funny. But...

Yesterday I was at my local COSTCO buying a large bag of Purina dog chow for my loyal pet, Biscuit, the Wonder Dog and was in the checkout line when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog. What did she think I had, an elephant? So, since I'm retired and have little to do, on impulse I told...

This is really good...I'm a borderline centrist/conservative according to this. So, you think you know where you stand, politically. Think again. The result From this short test may surprise you and give you some food for thought. You'll be asked just 10 questions, and then it...

A little old guy is walking around in a supermarket calling out, Crisco, Crissssssscoooo!' Soon an assistant manager approaches and says, 'Sir, the Crisco is in aisle 3.' The old guy replies, 'Oh, I'm not looking for the cooking stuff. I'm calling my wife. She's in here somewhere' The...