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Yes, the new one is out! Brand new edition of: "You know you're a redneck when...... ???????? 1. You take your dog for a walk and you both use the same tree. 2. You can entertain yourself for more than 15 minutes with a fly swatter. 3. Your boat has not left the driveway in 15 years. 4. You...

A woman walks into the downtown welfare office, trailed by 15 kids. 'WOW,' the social worker exclaims, 'are they all yours?' 'Yep they are all mine,' the flustered momma sighs, having heard that question a thousand times before. She says, 'Sit down Leroy.' All the children rush to...

If a Packet Hits a pocket on a socket on a port, and the bus is interrupted as a very last resort, and the address of the memory makes your floppy disk abort, then the socket packet pocket has an error to report. If your cursor finds a menu item followed by a dash, and the double-clicking icon...

June 6, 2007 To: Senator __________, SUBJ: Letter of Termination: Outsourcing your current positions FROM: American Taxpayers, USA It is with regret, that the American taxpayer is terminating you from your current position as Senator because the American taxpayer cannot keep up with the every...

A PLANE IS ON ITS WAY TO HOUSTON WHEN A BLONDE IN ECONOMY CLASS GETS UP AND MOVES TO THE FIRST CLASS SECTION AND SITS DOWN. THE FLIGHT ATTENDANT WATCHES HER DO THIS AND ASKS TO SEE HER TICKET. SHE THEN TELLS THE BLONDE THAT SHE PAID FOR ECONOMY CLASS AND THAT SHE WILL HAVE...

MARRIED LIFE - MAKES MY EYES TEAR UP, SUCH A HAPPY ENDING !! A couple had only been married for two weeks and the husband, although very Much in love, couldn't wait to go out on the town and party with his old Buddies. So, he said to his new wife, "Honey, I'll be right back." "Where are...

A Somali arrives in Minneapolis as a new immigrant to the United States. He stops the first person he sees walking down the street and says,"Thank you Mr. American for letting me in this country, giving me housing,food stamps, free medical care, and free education! "The passerby says, "You are...

Jack took his blind date to the carnival. "What would you like to do first, Amber?" asked Jack. "I want to get weighed," replied Amber. They ambled over to the weight guesser. He guessed 120 pounds. She got on the scale; it read 117 and she won a prize. Next, the couple went on the Ferris...

Below is an article written by a trucker, concerning Mexican trucks in the USA. Though this is only part of his article, the author is obviously not a Bush fan. Some of the things in this article I have thought about myself, as possibly happening. I have spent alot of time in Mexico over the...

After Quasimodo's death, the bishop of the Cathedral of Notre Dame sent word through the streets of Paris that a new bell ringer was needed. The bishop decided that he would conduct the interviews personally and went up into the belfry to begin the screening process. After observing several...

Battle of Trafalgar - President Blair style Nelson: "Order the signal, Hardy." Hardy: "Aye, aye sir." Nelson: "Hold on, that's not what I dictated to the signal officer. What's the meaning of this?" Hardy: "Sorry sir?" Nelson (reading aloud): "England expects every person to do his duty...

Sometimes, when I look at my children, I say to myself "Lillian, you should have remained a virgin." -- Lillian Carter (mother of Jimmy Carter) I had a rose named after me, and I was very flattered. But I was not pleased to read the description in the catalog: "No good...

Takes a bit to load but worth it..http://www.ugcs.caltech.edu/~yeli23/Flash/Fire.html

A U. S. Marine squad was patrolling north of Fallujah when they came upon an Iraqi terrorist, badly injured and unconscious. On the opposite side of the road was an American Marine in a similar but less serious state. The Marine was conscious and alert and as first aid was given to both...

It's that time of year to take our annual senior citizen test. Exercise of the brain is as important as exercise of the muscles. As we grow older, it's important to keep mentally alert. If you don't use it, you lose it! Below is a very private way to gauge your loss or non-loss of intelligence...

http://www.kerman94.com/mexicotourism.html

Inside.

Inside

1. If you are choking on an ice cube, don't panic. Simply pour a cup of boiling water down your throat and presto, the blockage will be almost instantly removed. 2. Clumsy? Avoid cutting yourself while slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold them while you chop away. 3. You can...

A young man was lost wandering in a forest, when he came upon a small house. He knocked on the door and was greeted by an ancient Chinese man with a long, grey beard. "I'm lost," said the man. "Can you put me up for the night?" "Certainly," the Chinese man said, "but on one condition. If you so...