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Having already downed a few power drinks, she turns around, faces him, looks him straight in the eye and says, "Listen here good looking, I jam anybody, anytime, anywhere, your place, my place, in the car, on the ground, standing up, sitting down, clothes off or clothes on, it doesn't matter to...

Which side of the fence? If you ever wondered which side of the fence you sit on, this is a great test! If a Republican doesn't like guns, he doesn't buy one. If a Democrat doesn't like guns, he wants all guns outlawed. If a Republican is a vegetarian, he doesn't eat meat. If a...

A lonely widow, age 70, decided that it was time to get married again. She put an ad in the local paper that read: HUSBAND WANTED: MUST BE IN MY AGE GROUP (70's), MUST NOT BEAT ME, MUST NOT RUN AROUND ON ME MUST STILL BE GOOD IN BED!!!!! ALL APPLICANTS PLEASE APPLY IN PERSON...

Welcome to Maywood, Mexico by Roger Hedge**** Boasting a population that is 97% Hispanic, more than half foreign born, and 40% illegal, the Los Angeles County, Calif., incorporated city of Maywood has achieved the Reconquista goal. It is now as lawless and chaotic as any place in Mexico...

The way to park in the city. BUDAPEST . Multiparker 730

About six months ago, a writer was watching a news program on oil and one of the Forbes Bros. was the guest. The host said to Forbes, "I am going to ask you a direct question and I would like a direct answer; how much oil does the U.S. have in the ground?" Forbes did not miss a beat, he said...

Has anyone heard of this new word ?!? Dhimmitude ?!? Amish and other religious groups may be exempt from forced purchase of healthcare policies under ObamaCare. You know what other groups this could include??? Muslims and Christian Scientists may be exempt from having to have government...

So, I lost the pub trivia contest last night by 1 point. The last question was "Where do women have the curliest hair?" Apparently the correct answer is Fiji.

It's in french, but self explanatory. How to open a wine bottle with a shoe. [VIDEO]

Eileen and her husband Bob went for counseling after 25 years of marriage. When asked what the problem was, Eileen went into a passionate, painful tirade listing every problem they had ever had in the 25 years they had been married. She went on and on and on: neglect, lack of...

They walked in tandem, each of the ninety-two students filing into the already crowded auditorium. With their rich maroon gowns flowing and the traditional caps, they looked almost as grown up as they felt. Dads swallowed hard behind broad smiles, and Moms freely brushed away tears. This...

This guy used to do Bush for 8 years, now he's doing Obama, and i think he nailed it. Give a listen. Video Clips: Steve Bridges as "President Barack Obama" - Promo Jan 2010

These are actual comments made on students' report cards by teachers in the New York City public school system. 1. Since my last report, your child has reached rock bottom and has started to dig. 2. I would not allow this student to breed. 3. Your child has delusions of...

YouTube - Continuous Chest Compression CPR - Mayo Clinic Presentation

Tell me...are YOU lonesome tonight? YouTube - Are You Lonesome Tonight (Senior Moments Version)

My wife and I are traveling by car from Victoria to Prince George . Being Seniors, after almost eleven hours on the road, we were too tired to continue, and decided to take a room. But, we only planned to sleep for four hours and then get back on the road. When we checked out four hours later...

I'm a legal American citizen and I must show my ID when: 1 Pulled over by the police. 2 Making purchases on my department store credit card. 3 When I show up for a doctor's appointment. 4 When filling out a credit card or loan application. 5 When applying...

This had to take days to set up. YouTube - OK Go - This Too Shall Pass - Rube Goldberg Machine version - Official

A father passing by his son's bedroom was astonished to see that his bed was nicely made and everything was picked up. Then he saw an Envelope, propped up prominently on the pillow that was addressed to 'Dad.' With the worst premonition he opened the envelope with trembling hands...

What I Want In a Man, Original List 1. Handsome 2. Charming 3. Financially successful 4. A caring listener 5. Witty 6. In good shape 7. Dresses with style 8. Appreciates finer things 9. Full of thoughtful surprises What I Want in a Man, Revised List (age 32) 1. Nice looking...