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The coach had put together the perfect team for the Chicago Bears. The only thing that was missing was a good quarterback. He had scouted all the colleges and even the Canadian and European Leagues, but he couldn't find a ringer who could ensure a Super Bowl win. Then one night while...

A camel jockey immigrant goes to a Doctor and says "I feel terrible". The Doctor says "You need to urinate and crap in a bucket for a week, throw in a dead fish, and a rotting cabbage. Put a towel over your head, and inhale the vapours for 3 days". The man does this, and goes back to...

I'm not a big sports fan, but I need a couple of teams to throw down some bets when watching a game and downing a few at the local betting parlor with the boys.What I see and what I read, I'm going to have to make a couple bets on Kansas City.

Apple Computer announced today that it has developed A computer chip that can store and play high fidelity Music in women's breast implants. The iBOOB will cost between $499.00 and $699.00 Depending on speaker size. This is considered to be a major...

On his 74th birthday, a man got a gift certificate from his wife. The certificate paid for a visit to a medicine man living on a nearby reservation who was rumored to have a wonderful cure for erectile dysfunction! After being persuaded, he drove to the reservation, handed his ticket to...

I changed my i Pod name to Titanic. It's syncing now. When chemists die, they barium. Jokes about German sausage are the wurst. A soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran. I know a guy who's addicted to brake fluid . He says he can stop any time. How...

Everyone seems to be wondering why Muslim Terrorists are so quick to commit suicide. Lets have a look at the evidence: - No Christmas - No television - No nude women - No football - No pork chops - No hot dogs - No burgers - No beer - No bacon - Rags for clothes - Towels...

Dog Goldberg Machine by Beneful® - YouTube

Panhandler Party - YouTube

100 Most Often <strike>Mispelled</strike> Misspelled Words in English

A man goes into the hospital for a vasectomy. Before the procedure a very attractive nurse comes in and takes his vitals, then tells him to take all of his clothes off. When he is fully undressed she instructs him to lie down on the table. The man obeys. The nurse then takes all of her...

Part I ....... (This is absolutely brilliant!) A. Back off and let those men who want to marry men, marry men. B. Allow those women who want to marry women, marry women. C. Allow those folks who want to abort their babies, abort their babies. D. In three generations, there will be...

A young Italian girl was going on a date. Her Nonna said: 'Sita here ana letame tella you about this- a younga boy. He's agonna try ana kiss you, you are agonna likea dat, but don't let him do dat. He's agonna try ana kiss your breasts, you are agonna likeadat too, but don'ta let him do...

Two great white sharks swimming in the ocean spied survivors of a sunken ship. "Follow me son" the father shark said to the son shark and they swam to the mass of people. "First we swim around them a few times with just the tip of our fin showing." And they did. "Well done, son...

It's in Japanese, but has subtitles. I want one! Man invents machine to convert plastic into oil - YouTube

The old man placed an order for one hamburger, French fries and a drink. He unwrapped the plain hamburger and carefully cut it in half, placing one half in front of his wife. He then carefully counted out the French fries, dividing them into two piles and neatly placed one pile in front...

There are female jokes and there are unisex jokes. Here is a joke I consider a true female joke. I offer it to you in the hope that women will love it and men will pass it along to a woman who will love it! A woman was sitting at a bar enjoying an after work cocktail with her...

I recall my first time with a condom. I was 14. I went in to buy a packet of condoms at Parchen's pharmacy. In those days it took a lot of guts to go in a store and ask for that kind of item because everyone in town knew me and there was no doubt the young lady (I think her name was Nola) knew...

Law of Gravity - Any tool, nut, bolt, screw, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner. Law of Probability- The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act. Law of Random Numbers - If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal...

Marine Corps Rules: 1. Be courteous to everyone, friendly to no one. 2. Decide to be aggressive enough, quickly enough. 3. Have a plan. 4. Have a back-up plan, because the first one probably won't work. 5. Be polite. Be professional. But, have a plan to kill everyone you meet. 6...