It's a Team's Life
I am just competitive is a crappy excuse
There are all kinds of races or competitions in our day and sometimes it is best to let go and sit back. The road rage that I have to fight is coming to road construction and the vehicles that wait till the last second to merge or zoom up on the shoulder and then cut in front of me. In past years, I would do everything in my power to make sure there was not a gap big enough for a frog’s hair to get in between me and the car in front of me. The stress of maintaining this was great but when I finally got into the construction and I had not let those line cutters get in front me was great or so I thought. They one day when talking to a friend and mentor we talked about this and some show he had watched talking about the time factor and if driving our own vehicle and relaxing in this situation actually slowed us down any. The answer came back NO. After that conversation I changed my driving and quit worrying about the line cutters and immediately me stress level dropped. Being first does not always make you a winner.
What happens when playing games with our children? Does always beating them at games lead to a confident child? On the other hand, does letting them win at games teach them to win and to lose? Teaching a child to win graciously and to except defeat with the determination to next time win leads to child growing up knowing they are not always going to win. This balance is helping the child to succeed not only at games but at life.
When spending time with friends and playing card or board games is the goal to win at any cost or pout if you do not win? The fun is in the game, the strategy, and people surrounding you. Enjoy the moment and the wins and the loses. We recently played a card game called BS with three young people, 15, 12, and 10 and we all laughed till our sides hurt. It was fun when someone won but the fun was in watching these kids decide if you were not telling the truth on the cards played or watching them when they got caught trying to BS the rest of us. They were so much fun to play the game with and there is no doubt in my mind these three kids will continue with their gaming playing fun throughout their lives.
There are times when winning is pretty close to everything. When on a race track where the goal is to win then by gosh don’t get it my way as I will run you down. Racing is not a sport where politeness will get you anywhere. The goal when racing is when the true meaning of winning is just that and second only means you are the first loser. We can be friends before the race and we can be friends after the race but never on the track and it is each person for themselves.
Watching others succeed that we have mentored is probably some of our proudest moments. When people we have mentored are now mentoring others is like a proud moment watching a child leave the nest. There are those times to when someone we mentor also decide that our way of life is not for them and that is also a proud moment as they did not jump blindly. There are many ways to win and these ways are not always crystal clear in the beginning.
When in a discussion with someone who has to win the argument at all costs on line or in person and will not accept a differing opinion is a lose lose situation and creates hard feelings. Think before continuing down a dead-end street with someone that has to “win” at all costs as they will make the excuse “I am just competitive” meaning they really do not care about you they only care about the “win”. Think about how much more fun it is to debate a person that can give and take as both can learn from that conversation. Personally, I have found over the years that if someone is in the debate to only win at any cost it is best to ignore them and go about debating with someone who enjoy the back and forth conversation.
Now I often think before I make the decision to “win” is this win really going to end up as a good win or will I lose in the long run?
This is so true:
Two Kinds of Winning - Seth Godin
Some can only win when others lose.
Others seek to win by helping others succeed.
One of the approaches scales far better than the other.
Bob & Linda Caffee
TeamCaffee
Saint Louis MO
Expediters since January 2005
Expediting isn't just trucking, it's a lifestyle;
Expediting isn't just a lifestyle, it's an adventure;
Expediting isn't just an adventure, it's a job;
Expediting isn't just a job, it's a business.