Fuel for Thought

Unhappy Camper

By Greg Huggins
Posted May 25th 2023 5:20AM

A little parody of the great Charlie Daniels' Uneasy Rider

Uneasy Rider

I was haulin’ a load with my Western Star

And you may find this a bit bizarre

If you were in one of those cars

I was toolin’ along about 68

Just tryin’ to deliver my freight

But the left lane was full of campers

I just wanted to pass a slow moving crane

But the cars camped out in the left lane

Wouldn't give up an inch of space

Well the line of cars was never ending

I began to feel my patience bending

So I took the very next exit to cool off

I was lookin' for a place to stop

When I spotted a little Mom an Pop

Kind of a backwoods place called Country Travel Center

The parking lot would only hold a couple of trucks

But I really didn’t give a 

I needed a place to cool off 

Well I went inside and my temper flared

As I saw the bus unloading all the blue and gray hair

I just knew all the thrones were taken

I decided to go and refill my cup

When I was told to just hold up

By the clerk who was just about to make a fresh pot

I grabbed me a Coke and headed for the clerk

When this gray haired man decided to be a jerk

About my truck takin' up too much space out there

I proceeded to tell him that it was mine

And not to worry that it would be fine

As I was leaving in just a few minutes anyway

Well that wasn’t goin' over to well

As he began to curse me an said somethin' about Hell

That’s when I figured I should head for the door

By now he had rallied his blue haired troops

They came out of the store as an angry group

But their walkers would never catch up with me

I climbed in the truck and it fired right up

I released the brake and dropped my damn cup

But it was time to get out of this gravel parking lot

It is really hard to peel out in a truck

But again I didn’t give a 

So I circled around and put a ton of dust in the air

Before I could leave and hit the highway

That dang ol’ bus went and blocked my way

I could see that angry mob slowly approaching

I decide to try and calm the crowd

So I pulled the brake and yelled out loud

Get away from the truck cause she’s about to blow

They all stopped dead in their tracks

And put their hands on their aching backs

Then they stooped over to hear the rest of my tale

I told 'em I was headed down to the coast

That I was supposed to be there to refuel sailboats

None of them even batted an eye

I said this fuel was a special mixture gas 

And if it builds up pressure that it will burn your a

That’s when the bus driver started to move his coach

The crowd started looking real scared of the truck

But as they backed away and began to cluck

That old jerk just stared back at me

I could see the wheels turning in the mind of the old jerk

He was beginning to remember how sailboats work

His wrinkled old face just began to turn bright red

He said there ain’t no way he has any fuel

Don’t y’all believe this ol’ lyin’ fool

That’s not even a tanker truck

He started sayin' something about opening the truck

But I felt that I was running outta luck

So I climbed back in the cab to make my escape

By now the bus had cleared my path

I threw it in gear to save my sorry a

And headed straight for the road

Ole Earnhardt woulda sure been proud

Of the way I was movin' when I passed that crowd

Raising their canes and a coughin' and wheezin'

An I guess I shoulda gone ahead an' run

But somehow I couldn’t resist the fun

Of leaving them all in another thick cloud of dust

When I hit the road I was really wheelin'

I was jamming gears and had brakes a squealin'

As I was stuck behind that dang ol’ crane again 

The left lane was still full of cars

If this keeps up I’ll need to find a bar

Camping in the left lane can drive a man to drink

Just as I was about to blow my top

I look in the mirror and see a cop

And that got some cars to move over

That gave me some room to pass that crane

I hit the gas and changed my lane

And finally got up to speed

I moved back over after I passed

But I did not let off the gas

And I see a Ford catching up with me

I could see movement inside

And when I peered into the ride

I saw a little arm just a pumping away

Well I pulled twice on the horn

And with the big smile I saw he wore 

All of my anger just floated away

Y’all may not know how it makes our day

To see a little arm pumping away

And the thrill we also get from pulling that cord

See you down the road,