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BREAKING NEWS!! To save the economy in 2009, the Obama government will start deporting all of the weird old people in order to lower Social Security and Medicare costs. I started crying - when I thought of you. RUN, YOU OLD FART, RUN!!!!!

A new supermarket opened in Topeka , KS . It has an automatic water mister to keep the produce fresh. Just before it goes on, you hear the sound of distant thunder and catch the ozone smell of fresh rain. When you pass the milk cases, you hear cows mooing and you experience...

I finally got around to going fishing this morning but after a while I ran out of worms. Then I saw a cottonmouth with a frog in his mouth, and frogs are good bass bait. Knowing the snake couldn't bite me with the frog in his mouth, I grabbed him right behind the head, took the frog...

If you get an email titled "Nude photo of Nancy Pelosi," DON'T OPEN IT!!!!!!!.... It contains a nude photo of Nancy Pelosi.

WHY ARE WE BANKRUPT? Informative, and mind boggling! You think the war in Iraq is costing us too much? Read this: Boy, was I confused. I have been hammered with the propaganda that it is the Iraq war and the war on terror that is bankrupting us. I now find that to...

This will give you pause......Just one good deal after another!! A vehicle at 15 mpg and 12,000 miles per year uses 800 gallons a year of gasoline. A vehicle at 25 mpg and 12,000 miles per year uses 480 gallons a year. So, the average clunker transaction will reduce US...

As we get older we sometimes begin to doubt our ability to "make a difference" in the world. It is at these times that our hopes are boosted by the remarkable achievements of other "seniors" who have found the courage to take on challenges that would make many of us wither. Harold Schlumberg...

YouTube - US National Anthem by the Academy Choirs

How to subtly enhance the image: YouTube - PJTV: The Power & Danger of Iconography

'Time to put Nana Pelosi in a home'

OK let me get this straight. We're going to pass a health care plan written by a committee whose head says he doesn't understand it, passed by a Congress that hasn't read it but exempts themselves from it, signed by a president that also...

You'll be a very lucky owner if you can put a team in your truck, achieve those numbers and have the same team still in it 2 years down the road. Do you know anything about life on the road? I would suggest that you take you investment capital, and put it into something you know closer to home...

The 7 dwarfs go to the Vatican, and because they are THE SEVEN DWARFS, they are ushered in to see the Pope. Dopey leads the pack. "Son," says the Pope, "What can I do for you?" Dopey replies,"excuse me, your Excellency, but are there any dwarf nuns inRome?" The Pope wrinkles his brow...

I just spent an hour trying to find a method of eliminating water spots when washing my truck or car. I read about ionizing, microtowels, car dry washes, rinses, and where and when to wash it. Over the years I've used about everything out there. The trouble with most of the commercial methods...

The Postal Services created a stamp with a picture of president obama. The stamp was not sticking to envelopes, which enraged the president, who demanded a full investigation. After a month of testing and $1.73 million in congressional spending, a special presidential commission presented...

Lovemaking tips for Seniors 1. Wear your glasses. Make sure your partner is actually in the bed. 2. Set timer for 3 minutes, in case you doze off in the middle. 3. Set the mood with lighting. (Turn them ALL OFF!) 4. Make sure you put 911 on your speed dial before you begin. 5...

You no longer need to keep your .45 or AK-47 sitting out on the coffee table... a can of wasp spray will do! Never would have thought it !!! I have a friend who is a receptionist in a high risk area who was concerned about someone coming into the office on Monday to rob them. She asked the...

New Footage of release of Captain Phillips by US Navy SEALS | Travel | News - insidesomalia.org

I've never tried this on, and if truth be know, I've never heard of it, but it sounds plausible. Anyone? If not, try it during the next downpour you run into, and let us know. How to achieve good vision while driving during a heavy downpour. We are not sure why it is so effective; just...

Wag Reflex: One Heck of a Dog Trainer