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if this doesn't drive you crazy-- nothing will. Click below: http://hk.promo.yahoo.com/movie/superman/Stop_Press_Game/

Go here: http://jflores.com/jokes/chowmein.htm

A farmer had five female pigs. Times were hard, so he decided to take them to the county fair and sell them. At the fair, he met another farmer who owned five male pigs. After talking a bit, they decided to mate the pigs and split everything 50/50. The farmers lived sixty miles apart. So they...

A lady was shopping at the local supermarket where I selected: A half-gallon of 2% milk, A carton of eggs, A quart of orange juice, A head of romaine lettuce, A 2 lb. can of coffee, and A 1 lb. package of bacon. As she was unloading her items on the conveyor belt to check out, a drunk standing...

An Irish woman of advanced age visited her physician to ask his help in reviving her husband's libido."What about trying Viagra"? asks the doctor. "Not a chance , " she said . "He won't even take an aspirin . " "Not a problem , " replied the doctor . "Give him an "Irish Viagra . " It's when...

There were three Indian squaws. One slept on a deer skin, one slept on an elk skin, and the third slept on a hippopotamus skin. All three became pregnant, and the first two each had a baby boy. The one who slept on the hippopotamus skin had twin boys. This goes to prove that: the squaw of the...

A very enlightening and startling essay...every American should read this one. A harbinger of things to come? This is pretty scary. As you read it you can see the path our country is on. Hope we can have an awakening. A Warning For America From South Africa By Gemma Meyer (Gemma Meyer is...

Bush wants us to cut the amount of gas we use. The best way to stop using so much gas is to deport 11 million illegal immigrants! That would be 11 million less people using our gas. The price of gas would come down. Bring our troops home from Iraq to guard the border. When they catch...

Product for Truckers

Saturday morning a deer hunter gets up early, dresses quietly, gets his lunch made, puts on his long johns, grabs his gun and goes to the garage to warm up his truck and head down to his favorite hunting area. He backs his truck out of the garage and discovers the rain is really pouring down...

3 Men were waiting to go to heaven. St Peter was at the gate and said, "However good you were to your wife that is the vehicle you will get in heaven". The first guy comes up to the gate and says, "I never, ever cheated on my wife and I love her". So St. Peter gives him a Rolls Royce. The next...

Grandpa watched Tommy pull a worm out of the ground and told him that he would give him 10 bucks if he could put it back in. Tommy left for a bit and said "Ok Grandpa, watch this". Tommy then pushed the worm right back down in the hole. The Grandpa got out the 10 dollars and gave it to Tommy...

In the world of romance, one single rule applies to the men: Make the woman happy. Do something she likes, and you get points. Do something she dislikes and points are subtracted. You don't get any points for doing something she expects. Sorry, that's the way the game is played. Here is a...

After his exam the doctor said to the elderly man: "You appear to be in good health. Do you have any medical concerns you would like to ask meabout?" "In fact, I do," said the old man. "After I have sex I am usually cold and chilly, and then, after I have sex with her the second time, I...

1. If your throat tickles, scratch your ear! When you were 9, playing your armpit was a cool trick. Now, as an adult, you can still appreciate a good body-based feat, but you're more discriminating. Take that tickle in your throat; it's not worth gagging over. Here's a better way to scratch...

Heaven is where... The police are British The cooks are Italian The lovers are French The mechanics are German And it's all organized by the Swiss Hell is where... The cooks are British The mechanics are French The lovers are Swiss The police are German And it's all organized by the Italians

Inside.

1) HEIDI - (noun) - Greeting 2) HIRE YEW - Complete sentence. Remainder of greeting. Usage: "Heidi, hire yew?" 3) BARD - (verb) - Past tense of the infinitive "to borrow". Usage: "My brother bard my pickup truck." 4) JAWJUH - (noun) - the state north of Florida. Capitol is...

Inside.

Eddie Haskell, The Beave, and Wally