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A woman meets an attractive man in a bar and asks him what he is drinking. Magic Beer, he says. She thinks he's a little crazy so she walks around the bar but after realizing there's no one else worth talking to, she goes back to the guy and asks, That isn't really Magic Beer, is it? Yes it...

Subj: Fw: Fwd: New Years Thoughts for a Wandering Mind -- I had amnesia once -- maybe twice. -- Protons have mass? I didn't even know they were catholic. -- I am neither for nor against apathy. -- All I ask is a chance to prove that money can't make me happy. -- If the world were...

Did you know... that the words "race car" spelled backward still spells "race car?" Did you know... that "eat" is the only word that, if you take the 1st letter and move it to the last, it spells its past tense, "ate?" And have you noticed that if you rearrange the letters in "illegal...

Ten Thoughts to Ponder Number 10 Life is sexually transmitted. Number 9 Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die. Number 8 Men have two emotions : Hungry and Horny. If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich .. Number 7 Give a person a fish and you...

Have you ever wondered who first uttered the phrase, "You Gotta Be Shlttin Me"? Well, it just so happens to have originated through the Father of Our Country, way back when Washington was crossing the Delaware River with his troops. There were 33 (remember this number) in...

--my elbow and guided me into a room, his room. Then he quietly shut the door and we were alone. He approached me soundlessly, from behind, and spoke in a low, reassuring voice close to my ear. "Just relax." Without warning, he reached down and I felt his strong, calloused hands start at my...

I'm at Toyota ,San Antonio.Been waiting to get unloaded since 0930 this morning.When the price of your new Toyota goes up,its because of the detention time they are paying me to babysit their v8 engines.It's going on 9 hours now and still counting

Tyrone applied for a fork lift operator jobat a famous firm based in Detroit. A white man applied for the same job and since both applicants had similar qualifications, they were asked to take a test and led to a quiet room with no interruptions by the Manager. When the results were in...

elderly man in Louisiana had owned a large farm for several years. He had a large pond in the back. It was properly shaped for swimming, So he fixed it up nice with picnic tables, horseshoe courts, And some apple, and peach trees. One evening the old farmer decided to go down to the...

Sam was a salesman's delight when it came to any kind of unusual gimmicks. His wife Marsha had long ago given up trying to get him to change. One day Sam came home with another one of his unusual purchases. It was a robot that Sam claimed was actually a lie detector. It was about 5:30 that...

as Determined by a Trip to Home Depot You are in the middle of some kind of project around the house-mowing the lawn, putting in a new fence, painting the living room, or whatever. Youare hot and sweaty, covered in dirt or paint. You have your old work clothes on. You know the outfit - shorts...

applied for a fork lift operator job at a famous firm based in Detroit . A white man applied for the same job and since both applicants had similar qualifications, they were asked to take a test and led to a quiet room with no interruptions by the Manager. When the results were in, both men...

O.M.G., I'm rich! Silver in the Hair Gold in the Teeth Crystals in the Kidneys Sugar in the Blood Lead in the *** Iron in the Arteries And an inexhaustible supply of Natural Gas. I never thought I'd accumulate such wealth.

Here's a solution to all the controversy over full-body scanners at the airports: All we need to do is develop a booth that you can step into that will not x-ray you, but will detonate any explosive device you may have hidden on or in your body. The explosion will be contained within the...

If Bud Abbott and Lou Costello were alive today, their infamous sketch, 'Who's on First?' might have turned out something like this: COSTELLO CALLS TO BUY A COMPUTER FROM ABBOTT ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you? COSTELLO: Thanks I'm setting up an office in my den and I'm...

DEAR ABBY ADMITTED SHE WAS AT A LOSS TO ANSWER THESE: Dear Abby, A couple of women moved in across the hall from me. One is a middle-aged gym teacher and the other is a social worker in her mid twenties. These two women go everywhere together, and I've never seen a man go into or leave their...

A very rich Florida man decided that he wanted to throw a party and invited all of his buddies and neighbors. He also invited Leroy, the only Redneck in the neighborhood. He held the party around the pool in the backyard of his mansion. Leroy was having a good time drinking, dancing...

A drunk man who smelled like beer sat down on a subway next to a priest. The man's tie was stained, his face was plastered with red lipstick, and a half-empty bottle of gin was sticking out of his torn coat pocket. He opened his newspaper and began reading. After a few minutes the man turned...

Normally,when I go back in service after being home for the weekend,we go in service at home,and usually get a short load to the east coast,that usually turns into another short l.oad or long dead head This time after going back inservice,we dead headed to Toledo,usually getting much longer...

just transfered my pilot points to my flying j card,whopping 406 points,as you can tell we don't use the two establishments much,almost enough for a sandwich