EnglishLady
Veteran Expediter
Tech Question
A woman called the Canon help desk with a problem with her printer.
The tech asked her if she was “running it under Windows.”
The woman responded, “No, my desk is next to the door. But that is a good point. The man sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a window, and his is working fine.”
The Vet
A man runs into the vets office carrying his dog, screaming for help.
The vet rushes him back into an examination room and has him put the dog on the table.
The vet examines the still, limp body and after a few moments tells the man that his dog is regrettably dead.
The man, clearly agitated and willing to accept this, demands a second opinion.
The vet goes into the back room and comes out with a cat. He puts the cat on the table near the dog's body.
the cat sniffs the body, walks from head to tail, poking and sniffing the dogs body and finally looks at the vet and meows.
The man is still unwilling to accept that his dog is dead, so the vet brings out a black larador retreiver.
The Labrador sniffs the body, walks from head to tail and finally looks at the vet and barks.
The vet looks at the man and says, "I’m sorry, but the labrador thinks your dog is dead too.”
The man, finally resigned to the diagnosis thanks the vet and asks how much he owes.
The Vet answers $650
"$650 to tell me my dog is dead?" exclaims the man
“Well,” the vet replies, “I would only have charged you $50 for my initial diagnosis.
The additional $600 was for the cat scan and lab tests
A police recruit was asked during the exam, "What would you do if you had to arrest your own mother?" He answered, "Call for backup."
A Minnesota couple decided to vacation to Florida during the winter. They planned to stay at the very same hotel where they spent their honeymoon 20 years earlier. Because of hectic schedules, it was difficult to coordinate their travel schedules. So, the husband left Minnesota and flew to Florida on Thursday. His wife would fly down the following day.
The husband checked into the hotel. There was a computer in his room, so he decided to send an e-mail to his wife. However, he accidentally left out one letter in her e-mail address, and without realizing his error, he sent the e-mail.
Meanwhile.....somewhere in Houston, a widow had just returned home from her husband's funeral. He was a minister of many years who was called home to glory following a sudden heart attack. The widow decided to check her e-mail, expecting messages from relatives and friends. After reading the first message, she fainted.
The widow's son rushed into the room, found his mother on the floor, and saw the computer screen which read:
To: My Loving Wife
Subject: I've Arrived
Date: 16 May 2003
I know you're surprised to hear from me. They have computers here now and you are allowed to send e-mails to your loved ones. I've just arrived and have been checked in. I see that everything has been prepared for your arrival tomorrow. Looking forward to seeing you then! Hope your journey is not as uneventful as mine was.
P.S. Sure is hot down here!
A woman called the Canon help desk with a problem with her printer.
The tech asked her if she was “running it under Windows.”
The woman responded, “No, my desk is next to the door. But that is a good point. The man sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a window, and his is working fine.”
The Vet
A man runs into the vets office carrying his dog, screaming for help.
The vet rushes him back into an examination room and has him put the dog on the table.
The vet examines the still, limp body and after a few moments tells the man that his dog is regrettably dead.
The man, clearly agitated and willing to accept this, demands a second opinion.
The vet goes into the back room and comes out with a cat. He puts the cat on the table near the dog's body.
the cat sniffs the body, walks from head to tail, poking and sniffing the dogs body and finally looks at the vet and meows.
The man is still unwilling to accept that his dog is dead, so the vet brings out a black larador retreiver.
The Labrador sniffs the body, walks from head to tail and finally looks at the vet and barks.
The vet looks at the man and says, "I’m sorry, but the labrador thinks your dog is dead too.”
The man, finally resigned to the diagnosis thanks the vet and asks how much he owes.
The Vet answers $650
"$650 to tell me my dog is dead?" exclaims the man
“Well,” the vet replies, “I would only have charged you $50 for my initial diagnosis.
The additional $600 was for the cat scan and lab tests
A police recruit was asked during the exam, "What would you do if you had to arrest your own mother?" He answered, "Call for backup."
A Minnesota couple decided to vacation to Florida during the winter. They planned to stay at the very same hotel where they spent their honeymoon 20 years earlier. Because of hectic schedules, it was difficult to coordinate their travel schedules. So, the husband left Minnesota and flew to Florida on Thursday. His wife would fly down the following day.
The husband checked into the hotel. There was a computer in his room, so he decided to send an e-mail to his wife. However, he accidentally left out one letter in her e-mail address, and without realizing his error, he sent the e-mail.
Meanwhile.....somewhere in Houston, a widow had just returned home from her husband's funeral. He was a minister of many years who was called home to glory following a sudden heart attack. The widow decided to check her e-mail, expecting messages from relatives and friends. After reading the first message, she fainted.
The widow's son rushed into the room, found his mother on the floor, and saw the computer screen which read:
To: My Loving Wife
Subject: I've Arrived
Date: 16 May 2003
I know you're surprised to hear from me. They have computers here now and you are allowed to send e-mails to your loved ones. I've just arrived and have been checked in. I see that everything has been prepared for your arrival tomorrow. Looking forward to seeing you then! Hope your journey is not as uneventful as mine was.
P.S. Sure is hot down here!