outwardbound 2
Expert Expediter
By way of background, the Bulwer-Lytton contest was started in 1982 by the English Department at California's San Jose State University to honor the Victorian novelist who opened his 1830 novel "Paul Clifford" with what were to become the immortal words, "It was a dark and stormy night".
The contest began as a quiet campus affair but continued to grow. Now, it attracts thousands of entries from around the world. According to the contest's organizers, the grand prize winner gets only a pittance and other winners "must content themselves with becoming household names".
This year's Bulwer-Lytton winner is Jim Guigli, a retired mechanical designer from California. His winning entry read:
"Detective Bart Lasiter was in his office studying the light from his one small window falling on his super burrito when the door swung open to reveal a woman whose body said you've had your last burrito for a while, whose face said angels did exist, and whose eyes said she could make you dig your own grave and lick the shovel clean."
This year's runner-up is Stuart Vasepuru, from Scotland, who played with one of the most famous pieces of dialogue from the Clint Eastwood movie "Dirty Harry":
"I know what you're thinking, punk," hissed Wordy Harry to his new editor, "you're thinking, 'Did he use six superfluous adjectives or only five?' – and to tell the truth, I forgot myself in all this excitement; but being as this is English, the most powerful language in the world, whose subtle nuances will blow your head clean off, you've got to ask yourself one question: 'Do I feel loquacious?' – well do you, punk?"
Sorry in advance for any discomfort in reading this post. But, once again we must realize that life is stranger then fiction.
:+
The contest began as a quiet campus affair but continued to grow. Now, it attracts thousands of entries from around the world. According to the contest's organizers, the grand prize winner gets only a pittance and other winners "must content themselves with becoming household names".
This year's Bulwer-Lytton winner is Jim Guigli, a retired mechanical designer from California. His winning entry read:
"Detective Bart Lasiter was in his office studying the light from his one small window falling on his super burrito when the door swung open to reveal a woman whose body said you've had your last burrito for a while, whose face said angels did exist, and whose eyes said she could make you dig your own grave and lick the shovel clean."
This year's runner-up is Stuart Vasepuru, from Scotland, who played with one of the most famous pieces of dialogue from the Clint Eastwood movie "Dirty Harry":
"I know what you're thinking, punk," hissed Wordy Harry to his new editor, "you're thinking, 'Did he use six superfluous adjectives or only five?' – and to tell the truth, I forgot myself in all this excitement; but being as this is English, the most powerful language in the world, whose subtle nuances will blow your head clean off, you've got to ask yourself one question: 'Do I feel loquacious?' – well do you, punk?"
Sorry in advance for any discomfort in reading this post. But, once again we must realize that life is stranger then fiction.
:+
