You would think, me being fluffy and all. But recently that has not been the case. Let me explain briefly.
I've been texting with this girl that I met on one of those free dating websites filled with fake fraudulent scamming women. We hit it off. It lasted longer than I expected at that point, being she was good looking, younger, and a nice body. We always had nice, non sexual general conversations.
I unloaded in Eaton, Ohio on a Friday and was going to go home for doctor's appointments, etc. She lives north of Beaverdam. She texted me and asked what my plans were. I told her. She insisted that I stop by her house at 11, when she gets off work. We only texted each other at this point. Im now 53 years old and nervous. .......
I arrive 10 minutes before 11, freshly showered, baby powdered, and smelling gooood.. (Hai' Karate')....lol
She whips in the driveway in her pickup. Not a Ford. (Red flag#1.) We get out of our vehicles, give each other a nice hug. She informed me that she needs a shower, as she smells like rubber from the plant that she works at in town.
She gives me the remote to the t.v., introduces me to her dog and not so freindly black cat. (Red flag #2). She jumps in the shower.
Im sitting there, texting my freind, petting her dog. 10 minutes later, she emerges in a towel....
She stops midway in the living room, drops the towel, and looks at me, and says, "well, c'mon, I have to be up in 5 hours"...
So much for shyness. So much for dinner and a movie. So much for taking things slow. So much for chivalry. This younger generation is definitely in a hurry.
Her bedroom is lit up like NYC. LED lights everywhere. I informed her there is no way im stripping down in a room lit up like this. One look at me and she would be maimed for life. Scarred emotionally. She'd be calling Dr. Phil.
I wont go into details, but things were going great until she pulled out a dog collar. And a leash. For her. REALLY????
Luckily, my freind who I was texting earlier while she was in the shower called me at a certain time, as he told me would. That would be a "way out" call.
"Yes, Mom, I'll be home as soon as I can".
I never got dressed so fast and got out of there.
After this, I think it may be in my best interests to stay single and just buy a flexi doll.
Words of advice::::
Dont be silly, cover your willy.
No glove, no love.
Dont be a fool, cover your tool.
