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TELL ME THIS WON'T HAPPEN TO US!!!! An elderly Floridian called 911 on her cell phone to report that her car has been broken into. She is hysterical as she explains her situation to the dispatcher: 'They've stolen the stereo, the steering wheel, the brake pedal and even the...

The English language has some wonderfully anthropomorphic collective nouns for the various groups of animals. We are all familiar with a Herd of cows, a Flock of chickens, a School of fish and a Gaggle of geese. However, less widely known is a Pride of lions, a Murder of crows...

Miss Beatrice, The church organist, Was in her eighties And had never been married. She was admired for her sweetness and kindness to all. One afternoon the pastor came to call on her and she showed him into her quaint sitting room. She invited him to have a seat while she prepared...

There is an annual contest at Texas A&M University calling for the most appropriate definition of a contemporary term. This year's term was: "Political Correctness." The winner wrote: "Political correctness is a doctrine, fostered by a delusional, illogical minority, and rabidly...

Cat and owl playing. [VIDEO]

A cop stops a biker for traveling faster than the posted speed limit. He asks the biker his name. 'Fred,' he replies. 'Fred what?' the officer asks. 'Just Fred,' the man responds. The officer is in a good mood and thinks he might just give the biker a break and write him out a...

This is the nightly routine of closing the border between India and Pakistan. Takes posturing more than a notch up. How the border between India and Pakistan is closed, every day. [VIDEO]

Sometimes, when I look at my children, I say to myself, 'Lillian, you should have remained a virgin.' - Lillian Carter (mother of Jimmy Carter) <><> I had a rose named after me and I was very...

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1. The later you are, the more excited your dogs are to see you. 2. Dogs don't notice if you call them by another dog's name. 3. Dogs like it if you leave a lot of things on the floor. 4. A dog's parents never visit. 5. Dogs agree that you have to raise...

This is for me. I wonder if this tells you that it fits well. The Future of Shopping

Knowing full well mistakes are made by people in every profession, I think cops take it on the chin way to often. I get tired of seeing movies where cops are crashing into each other like a bunch of bumbling morons, and doing the one wheel car into the air over a parked car the way Hollywood...

True or False? Can you guess which of the following are true and which are false? (Answers are below.) 1. Apples, not caffeine, are more efficient at waking you up in the morning. 2. Alfred Hitch**** did not have a belly button. 3...

TAKE YOUR PICK You can retire to Phoenix , Arizona where... 1. You are willing to park 3 blocks away because you found shade. 2. You've experienced condensation on your hiney from the hot water in the toilet bowl. 3. You can drive for 4 hours in one direction and never leave town. 4...

The Agenda - Grinding America Down - YouTube

You can zero in on any one specific single face The clarity is unbelievable. This is the crowd before the riots in Vancouver. Put your cursor anywhere in the crowd and double-click a couple of times. To further help with image, use the scroll button in the centre of your mouse...

No matter what this husband did in bed, his wife never achieved an orgasm. Since by Jewish law a wife is entitled to sexual pleasure, they decide to consult their Rabbi. The Rabbi listens to their story, strokes his beard, and makes the following suggestion: 'Hire a strapping young man...

In 1872 the Arabs invented the condom, using a goat's lower intestine. In 1873 the British somewhat refined the idea by taking the intestine out of the goat first.

I was in the six item express lane at the store quietly fuming. Completely ignoring the sign, the woman ahead of me had slipped into the check-out line pushing a cart piled high with groceries. Imagine my delight when the cashier beckoned the woman to come forward looked into the cart and asked...

A group of 15-year-old girlfriends discussed where they should meet for dinner. Finally, it was agreed they should meet at the Dairy Queen next to the Ocean View restaurant because they only had $6.00 between them and Jimmy Johnson, that cute boy in Social Studies, lives on that street and they...