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About those REDNECKS........... Many of us have enjoyed the redneck jokes for years. It's time to take a reflective look at the core beliefs of a culture that values home, family, country and God. If I had to stand before a dozen terrorists who threaten my life, I'd choose a half dozen or so...

Jim and Edna were both patients in a mental hospital. One day while they were walking past the hospital swimming pool, Jim suddenly fell into the deep end. He sank to the bottom of the pool and stayed there. Edna promptly jumped in to save him. She swam to the bottom and pulled Jim out...

Lawrence...how do you enlarge thise cartoons? They are thumbnails on my computer, and iI can`t find a way to make them larger. Last one, 4.

Secretary: - Mr. President, Condoleeza Rice is here to see you. George B. : - Good, send her in. Secretary: - Yessir. (Hangs up. Condi enters.) Condoleeza: - Good morning, Mr. President. George B. : - Oh Condoleeza, nice to see you. What's happening? Condoleeza : - Well, Mr. President, I have...

Them coasters get a mite touchy when impuned. As ex-navy I faced cold steel a couple of times...... My zipper got stuck at a beer party.

US COAST GARD RULES UPDATE 1.Come off liberty. 2.Cruis to offshore islands to buy booze and cigs. 3.Go back on liberty. 4.Spend the weekend in military bars saying "yes, the Coast Gaurd is a REAL service". 5.Go on leave.

US Marine Corps Rules 1. Be courteous to everyone, friendly to no one. 2. Decide to be aggressive ENOUGH, quickly ENOUGH. 3. Have a plan. 4. Have a back-up plan, because the first one probably won't work. 5. Be polite. Be professional. But, have a plan to kill everyone you meet. 6. Do not...

RULES OF ENGAGEMENT FOR THE VARIOUS SERVICES. I`M EX-NAVY.

This has got to be one of the funniest I've heard of in a long time. I think this guy should have been promoted, not fired. This is a true story from the WordPerfect Helpline which was transcribed from a recording monitoring the customer care department. Needless to say, the Help Desk...

Make way for the champ...48!!....beat that!!!

It can buy a House But not a Home It can buy a Bed But not Sleep It can buy a Clock But not Time It can buy a Book But not Knowledge It can buy a Position But not Respect It can buy Medicine But not Health It can buy Blood But not Life It can buy Sex But not Love Money...

Just trying to help

THE MAMMOGRAM For years and years they told me, Be careful of your breasts. Don't ever squeeze or bruise them. And give them monthly tests. So I heeded all the warnings, And protected them by law. Guarded them very carefully And always (well mostly) wore my bra. After 30 years of astute...

A poem

Men Are Just Happier People-- What do you expect from such simple creatures? Your last name stays put. The garage is all yours. Wedding plans take care of themselves. Chocolate is just another snack. You can be President. You can never be pregnant. You can wear a white T-shirt to a water...

Can you imagine working for a company that has a little more than 500 employees and has the following statistics: * 29 have been accused of spousal abuse * 7 have been arrested for fraud * 19 have been accused of writing bad checks *117 have directly or indirectly bankrupted at least 2...

A woman was very distraught over the fact that she had not had a date or any sex for over 5 years. She had been to several doctors but couldn`t find an answer as to why her love life was on the rocks, so she decided to seek the medical expertise of the well known Chinese sex therapist, Dr...

Exercise of the brain is as important as exercise of the muscles. As we grow older, it's important that we keep mentally alert The saying; "If you don't use it, you will lose it" also applies to the brain, so... Below is a very private way to gauge your loss or non-loss of intelligence...

"Take it easy, Doc, you're boldly going where no man has gone before." "Find Amelia Earhart yet?" "Can you hear me NOW?" "Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet?" "You know, in Arkansas , we're now legally married." "Any sign of the trapped miners, Chief?" "You put your left...

Next time you`re in for a colonoscopy, or the old "finger wave", drop one of these lines on your doctor.