Twmaster
Expert Expediter
1. Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I can't
even get into my own pants.
2. Marriage changes passion. Suddenly you're in bed
with a relative.
3. I saw a woman wearing a sweat shirt with "Guess" on
it. So I said "Implants?" She hit me.
4. I don't do drugs. I get the same effect just
standing up fast.
5. I live in my own little world. But it's OK. They
know me here.
6. I got a sweater for Christmas. I really wanted a
screamer or a moaner.
7. If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport
the terminal?
8. I don't approve of political jokes. I've seen too
many of them get elected.
9. There are two sides to every divorce: Yours and
Sh#thead's.
10. I love being married. It's so great to find that
one special person you want to annoy for the rest of
your life.
11. I am a nobody, and nobody is perfect; therefore, I
am perfect.
12. Everyday I beat my own previous record for number
of consecutive days I've stayed alive.
13. How come we choose from just two people to run for
president and 50 for Miss America?
14. Why is it that most nudists are people you don't
want to see naked?
15. Snowmen fall from Heaven unassembled.
16. Every time I walk into a singles bar I can hear
Mom's wise words:? "Don't pick that up, you don't know
where it's been!"
:+
--
Mike N
even get into my own pants.
2. Marriage changes passion. Suddenly you're in bed
with a relative.
3. I saw a woman wearing a sweat shirt with "Guess" on
it. So I said "Implants?" She hit me.
4. I don't do drugs. I get the same effect just
standing up fast.
5. I live in my own little world. But it's OK. They
know me here.
6. I got a sweater for Christmas. I really wanted a
screamer or a moaner.
7. If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport
the terminal?
8. I don't approve of political jokes. I've seen too
many of them get elected.
9. There are two sides to every divorce: Yours and
Sh#thead's.
10. I love being married. It's so great to find that
one special person you want to annoy for the rest of
your life.
11. I am a nobody, and nobody is perfect; therefore, I
am perfect.
12. Everyday I beat my own previous record for number
of consecutive days I've stayed alive.
13. How come we choose from just two people to run for
president and 50 for Miss America?
14. Why is it that most nudists are people you don't
want to see naked?
15. Snowmen fall from Heaven unassembled.
16. Every time I walk into a singles bar I can hear
Mom's wise words:? "Don't pick that up, you don't know
where it's been!"
:+
--
Mike N
