HOW TO KEEP A HEALTHY LEVEL OF INSANITY

dieseldiva

Veteran Expediter
Thinking about trying a couple of these!
Boy we'd better get back on the road soon!!!!!

How To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity

1. At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.

2. Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice.

3. Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.

4. Put your garbage can on your desk and label it "in"

5. Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has Gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.

6. In the memo field of all your checks, write "for sexual favors".

7. Finish all your sentences with "in accordance with the prophecy."

8. Don't use any punctuation marks
9. As often as possible, skip rather than walk.

10. Ask people what sex they are. Laugh hysterically after they answer.

11. Specify that your drive-through order is "to go".

12. Sing along at the opera.

13. Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme.

14. Put mosquito netting around your work area. Play a tape of jungle sounds all day.

15. Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their party because you're not in the mood.

16. Have your coworkers address you by your wrestling name, Rock Hard Kim.

17. When the money comes out the ATM, scream "I won!", "I won!"
"3rd time this week!!!!!"

18. When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot, yelling "run for your lives, they're loose!!"

19. Tell your children over dinner. "due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go."

And the final way to keep a healthy level of insanity.......

20. Send this e-mail to everyone in your address book, even if they sent it to you or asked you not to send them stuff like this.





Just Killin' Time!!
DD
 

RichM

Veteran Expediter
Charter Member
Now that one has been kicking around for a long time. I have a daughter in law in NJ and she sent me this post about 2 years ago.She does page herself over the intercom and writes for sexual favors on her checks.
 

Wild Bill

Veteran Expediter
Charter Member
Retired Expediter
I just beat my head aganst the wall of the truck and wait for that warm, comforting feeling of the concussion sink in....lol

Either that or I sit in a fetal position on my bunk and keep repeating the lyrics to "I am the Walrus". If you really want a challenge recite them in Latin...lol
 

jujubeans

OVM Project Manager
Just in case you've had a rough day, here is a stress management technique
recommended in all the latest psychological texts. The funny thing is that
it really works.
1. Picture yourself near a stream.
2. Birds are softly chirping in the cool mountain air.
3. No one but you knows your secret place.
4. You are in total seclusion from the hectic place called "the world."
5. The soothing sound of a gentle waterfall fills the air with a cascade of
serenity.
6. The water is crystal clear.
7. You can easily make out the face of the person you're holding underwater.

heh heh heh..this one works for me!

jujubeans:+ :+ :+
 
Top