> OBITUARY
Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Mr. Common Sense.
Mr. Sense had been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old
he was since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red
tape. He will be remembered as having cultivated such value lessons as
knowing when to come in out of the rain, why the early bird gets the
worm and that life isn't always fair. Common Sense lived by simple,
sound financial policies (don't spend more than you earn) and reliable
parenting strategies (adults, not kids, are in charge). His health began
to rapidly deteriorate when well intentioned but overbearing regulations
were set in place. Reports of a six-year-old boy charged with sexual
harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for
using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an
unruly student, only worsened his condition. Mr. Sense declined even
further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer
aspirin to a student; but, could not inform the parents when a student
became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion. Finally, Common Sense
lost the will to live as the Ten Commandments became contraband;
churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than
their victims.
Common Sense finally gave up the ghost after a woman failed to realize
That a steaming cup of coffee was hot, she spilled a bit in her lap, and
was
awarded a huge financial settlement. Common Sense was preceded in death
by his parents, Truth and Trust, his wife, Discretion; his daughter,
Responsibility; and his son, Reason. He is survived by two stepbrothers;
My Rights and Ima Whiner. Not many attended his funeral because so few
realized he was gone. If you still remember him, pass this on; if not,
join the majority and do nothing.
Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Mr. Common Sense.
Mr. Sense had been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old
he was since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red
tape. He will be remembered as having cultivated such value lessons as
knowing when to come in out of the rain, why the early bird gets the
worm and that life isn't always fair. Common Sense lived by simple,
sound financial policies (don't spend more than you earn) and reliable
parenting strategies (adults, not kids, are in charge). His health began
to rapidly deteriorate when well intentioned but overbearing regulations
were set in place. Reports of a six-year-old boy charged with sexual
harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for
using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an
unruly student, only worsened his condition. Mr. Sense declined even
further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer
aspirin to a student; but, could not inform the parents when a student
became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion. Finally, Common Sense
lost the will to live as the Ten Commandments became contraband;
churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than
their victims.
Common Sense finally gave up the ghost after a woman failed to realize
That a steaming cup of coffee was hot, she spilled a bit in her lap, and
was
awarded a huge financial settlement. Common Sense was preceded in death
by his parents, Truth and Trust, his wife, Discretion; his daughter,
Responsibility; and his son, Reason. He is survived by two stepbrothers;
My Rights and Ima Whiner. Not many attended his funeral because so few
realized he was gone. If you still remember him, pass this on; if not,
join the majority and do nothing.
HOS - what's going on? Maybe this is the a
