YEAR'S BEST actual HEADLINES OF 2004
Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says
- no, really?
Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers
- now that's taking things a bit far!
Is There a Ring of Debris around Uranus?
- not if I wipe thoroughly!
Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over
- What a guy!
Miners Refuse to Work after Death
- no-good- for-nothin' lazy so-and-sos!
Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant
- see if that works any better than a fair trial!
War Dims Hope for Peace
- I can see where it might have that effect!
If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last Awhile
- you think?
Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures
- who would have thunk it!
Enfield London Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide
- they may be on to something!
Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges
- you mean there's something stronger than duct tape?
Man Struck By Lightning Faces Battery Charge
- he probably IS the battery charge!
New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group
- weren't they fat enough?
Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft
- That's what he gets for eating those beans!
Kids Make Nutritious Snacks
- Taste like chicken?
Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half
- Chainsaw Massacre all over again!
Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors
- Boy , are they tall!
And the winner is....
Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead
- Did I read that sign right?
Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says
- no, really?
Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers
- now that's taking things a bit far!
Is There a Ring of Debris around Uranus?
- not if I wipe thoroughly!
Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over
- What a guy!
Miners Refuse to Work after Death
- no-good- for-nothin' lazy so-and-sos!
Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant
- see if that works any better than a fair trial!
War Dims Hope for Peace
- I can see where it might have that effect!
If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last Awhile
- you think?
Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures
- who would have thunk it!
Enfield London Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide
- they may be on to something!
Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges
- you mean there's something stronger than duct tape?
Man Struck By Lightning Faces Battery Charge
- he probably IS the battery charge!
New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group
- weren't they fat enough?
Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft
- That's what he gets for eating those beans!
Kids Make Nutritious Snacks
- Taste like chicken?
Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half
- Chainsaw Massacre all over again!
Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors
- Boy , are they tall!
And the winner is....
Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead
- Did I read that sign right?