nightcreacher
Veteran Expediter
* I just got back from a pleasure trip. I took my mother-in-law to the airport.
"Honey, I'm home!"
* We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.
* My wife and I went back to the hotel where we spent our wedding night; only this time I stayed in the bathroom and cried.
* My wife and I went to a hotel where we got a waterbed. My wife called it the Dead Sea .
* She was at the beauty shop for two hours. That was only for theestimate. She got a mudpack and looked great for two days. Then themud fell off.
* The Doctor gave a man six months to live. The man couldn't pay his bill so the doctor gave him another six months.
* The Doctor called Mrs. Cohen saying, "Mrs. Cohen, your check came back. "
Mrs. Cohen answered, "So did my arthritis!"
* Doctor: "You'll live to be 60!"
Patient: "I am 60!"
Doctor: "See! What did I tell you?"
* Patient: "I have a ringing in my ears."
Doctor: "Don't answer!"
* Why do Jewish divorces cost so much?
They're worth it.
The Harvard School of Medicine did a study of why Jewish women likeChinese food so much. The study revealed that this is due to the factthat Won Ton spelled backward is Not Now.
There is a big controversy on the Jewish view of when life begins.
In Jewish tradition, the fetus is not considered viable until it graduates from medical school.
Q: Why don't Jewish mothers drink?
A: Alcohol interferes with their suffering..
A Jewish boy comes home from school and tells his mother he has a part in the play.
She asks, "What part is it?"
The boy says, "I play the part of the Jewish husband."
"The mother scowls and says, "Go back and tell the teacher you want a speaking part."
Short summary of every Jewish holiday:
They tried to kill us. We won. Let's eat.
Q: Why are Jewish men circumcised?
A: Because Jewish women don't like anything that Isn't 20% off.
* I've been in love with the same woman for 49 years! If my wife ever finds out, she'll kill me!
* What are three words a woman never wants to hear when she's making love?
* What are three words a woman never wants to hear when she's making love?
"Honey, I'm home!"
* We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.
* My wife and I went back to the hotel where we spent our wedding night; only this time I stayed in the bathroom and cried.
* My wife and I went to a hotel where we got a waterbed. My wife called it the Dead Sea .
* She was at the beauty shop for two hours. That was only for theestimate. She got a mudpack and looked great for two days. Then themud fell off.
* The Doctor gave a man six months to live. The man couldn't pay his bill so the doctor gave him another six months.
* The Doctor called Mrs. Cohen saying, "Mrs. Cohen, your check came back. "
Mrs. Cohen answered, "So did my arthritis!"
* Doctor: "You'll live to be 60!"
Patient: "I am 60!"
Doctor: "See! What did I tell you?"
* Patient: "I have a ringing in my ears."
Doctor: "Don't answer!"
* Why do Jewish divorces cost so much?
They're worth it.
The Harvard School of Medicine did a study of why Jewish women likeChinese food so much. The study revealed that this is due to the factthat Won Ton spelled backward is Not Now.
There is a big controversy on the Jewish view of when life begins.
In Jewish tradition, the fetus is not considered viable until it graduates from medical school.
Q: Why don't Jewish mothers drink?
A: Alcohol interferes with their suffering..
A Jewish boy comes home from school and tells his mother he has a part in the play.
She asks, "What part is it?"
The boy says, "I play the part of the Jewish husband."
"The mother scowls and says, "Go back and tell the teacher you want a speaking part."
Short summary of every Jewish holiday:
They tried to kill us. We won. Let's eat.
Q: Why are Jewish men circumcised?
A: Because Jewish women don't like anything that Isn't 20% off.