It was a rainy ugly night at the flying j off highway 75 just north
of atlanta. Scnieder-Man was sitting in the cab of his condo frieghtshaker, sucking face and swapping spit with Fuel-desk Woman. Suddenly, right in the middle of a particularly wet one, the call came in...beep! beep!...Scnieder-Man picks up his cell, and calls into Dispatcher-Babe, who never, and i mean NEVER, puts him on hold. He hears the phone answer on the other end.."What´s up?" he asks. Babe sez "emergency paper load out of Barfburg, Alabama, has to be at the printing plant in Weenyville, California in 3 days flat!"..or there will be no new episode of Schnieder -Man in the truckstops at
the end of the month"!
"Can you do it"?, she asks...S-M answers, "does a shark make doo doo in the ocean"?..And with that he was off, leaving Fueldesk- Woman misty eyed and waving goodbye. Arriving in Barfburg, S-M finds the dock super and tells him he´s there for the Weenyville run,.." they need 12 rolls" he says,. Dock supe sez, "but you can only carry 6". S-M tells him to force the barns shut with a forklift, as the load must go thru. He heads out to hit I_20. He realizes that with the extra weight he can only do 58, with his super charged cummins 310 with turbo. S-M drives day and night, easily making it thru the scales, as he is a master at double logging, and axle repositioning. He has to be! When he hits the Oklahoma line, he sees that straight road out in front of him, so he puts it on cruise,and goes back to take a nap. How long has he been on I-40, he wonders on awakening. Then he hears the fuel gage warning. He pulls off at the first opportunity. While paying with his orange fuel card, S-M wonders if he has time to switch the goo too! Or if he needs to. He makes a quick call to Larry McCord at EO, who has a copy of every maintenance article ever written stored in his mental hard drive, and can spout statistics nonstop without his laptop. He even knows the Weave Archives! Satisfied that he is on time and not out of hours, our hero again fires her up and glides accross I-40. By the time he hits the California scales, he knows his load is in jeopardy. He taps the breaks. Nothing! He opens the window and frantically begins throwing Scnieder eggs (those orange things)to let them know he´s coming thru. S-M blasts thru at an astounding 59 mph. Now getting to Weenyville will be a cinch he muses. He rolls into the dock,72 hours to the minute, and slams on his E brake! His fans are waiting. The entire dock area is filled with JB trucks. Someone breaks out a bottle of Andre. Another job well done!! Scnieder-Man makes a quick call to Fuel-desk Woman, to let her know. She gives him a rasberry over the phone. As he hangs up he makes a mental note to buy her something nice.
-Weave-
