As The DougTravels - A Soap Opera

mypie · Apr 5, 2009

We have been having a great time storytelling. If you've never contributed to one of our stories, please feel free to do so. All are welcome. Or, perhaps you just want to read the thread and LYAO! Believe me, we spend a lot of time doing that as we're figuring out how to screw each other over.

Either way, it is a great time as well as a great way to pass the time on a layover.

The only rule is DO NOT BADMOUTH ANY OF THE EO ADVERTISERS!

No other rules apply. Get rid of all your pent up frustrations in a way that nobody will get hurt. Beware, revenge is acceptable!

I will begin by setting the stage . . .

mypie · Apr 5, 2009

The scene opens with some really cheezy music and a very deep voice comes on and says, "Just like the days of your life, so are As The DougTravels."

In case you couldn't figure out in our epic award winning production, "DougTravels is Bored Storytelling Episode II" our actor Cruzer is DEAD. Get that D.E.A.D. DEAD! But, he will be returning to 'As The DougTravels' in a new starring role - So, we can kill him off again (of course).

Scene One Opens: With DougTravels (our hero) wandering aimlessly through a truck stop parking lot. He has been wandering for hours, which has been completely unnecessary because all he needed was directions and he refuses to ask for directions. He says, "Dammit, I'll find it myself. I don't need any friggin directions."

That is when he runs into his old friend . . .

DougTravels · Apr 5, 2009

Captain Morgan who is wearing a tin cap and a brown paper bag. Doug Settles in for a nice afternoon with his old friend the Captain when--

cruzer · Apr 5, 2009

He sees cruzer walking around kicking stones and muttering something about a pie,he calls cruzer over and introduces him to his friend.Cruzer explains how he has returned from purgotory to redeem himself if it's not to late........

mypie · Apr 5, 2009

Just then an ambulance pulls into the parking lot, sirens and lights a blazing. They pull up next to Cruzer pull out the gurney and strap him down to it. Saying, "you shouldn't be out of bed, you just returned from purgitory. They start stabbing him with needles and shocking his heart, and he shouts, "hey, whata you doing? That hurts!"

Into the ambulance went Cruzer and off to the hospital when . . .

cruzer · Apr 5, 2009

Cruzer decides enough is enough and breaks free of the straps and stands up in the ambulance the driver says control him a guy that size could cause us to roll over but it was to late,cruzer stomps his feet through the floor and his head through the roof and tears the ambulance off like an old teeshirt walks back to his truck and drives into the sunset....THE END

DougTravels · Apr 5, 2009

OF SCENE 1: after the commercial break

We are back in Cruzers truck with him driving like a maniac, while eating a subway sandwich that wasn't even wrapped separately and talking on his cell when his identical twin brother (played by Danny Devito) pops his head from the bunk and says......

bluejaybee · Apr 5, 2009

my goodness cruzer, you surely ain't eating another subway with those yellow peppers on them, are ya? You know they....

mypie · Apr 5, 2009

"cause you to fart. Which wonna ya cut the cheese?", and, "I don't know why you're running from the hospital. Hospitals got nurses. I think we should go back and check you into the hospital and stick with the script."

Then Cruzer pulls the truck over, "Really, nurses? I never thought about it like that."

"Yeah, they got nurses at da hospital." So, they turn the truck around and go back to the hospital.

When . . .

DougTravels · Apr 5, 2009

they get there, cruzer checks in, they are very nice to him and glad to see him. They are talking ever so sweetly putting him in a spiffy new white jacket, when he realizes the nice jacket he's been given has extra long sleeves and it buttons in the back his room IS PADDED!, HE CAN"T MOVE HIS ARMS!!, AND HE HAS JUST REALIZED.......

mypie · Apr 6, 2009

5, no, no make it 10 scantilly clad fuel attendants were being locked into his padded room with him. Doug says, "leave them alone, this is going to be a while."

That is when Doug remembered where he had to be when he was lost and wouldn't ask for directions. Only this time he had an address so he put it in his GPS.

So off Doug went to the . . .

DougTravels · Apr 6, 2009

Producers of this little story in, NYC. He got a little turned around, saw a low clearance sign and got off of I-278 in Brooklyn. Some guy jumped up on Doug's running board and..............

Yesteryear · Apr 6, 2009

20 dalla's, 20 dalla's I show you da way! So Doug searches through his pockets, pulling out wadded up dollar bills, dimes, nickels, quarters and even pennies, but whoa and behold Doug only had 11 dollars and 89 cents. So the guy smiles at Doug and says "Ok, I take da 11 dollars and 89 cents". So Doug hands over his wadded up dollars, his quarters, nickels, dimes and pennies with a sad good-bye to all the money he had. The guys says with a big sly grin "follow me, I show you da way, yea I show you da way" and . . .

mypie · Apr 6, 2009

so Doug agreed and the guy directed him up one street and then another twisting and turning until he was thoroughly confused. Then the guy said, "stop, stop here." And, he pointed at the ATM.

Confused, Doug said, "I don't understand, we agreed on $11.89 that's all I have."

"Yes, I get you der for $11.89 - but, it gonna cost you hundred bucks to show you way back."

"What?!?" And, after pondering the situation for a moment, Doug felt he had no choice, so he went to the ATM. While, he was double-parked a cop stopped and gave him a ticket. Doug, thought, {". . . last time I accept a load to NYC . . ."} Now back in the truck . . .

. . . The camera cuts back to Highway Star in his trailer as he anticipates the arrival of his escort. A knock comes at the door . . . and Highway walks over to answer it after checking his appearance in the mirror. When he opens it he finds his escort dressed in all black leather covered in tatoos and piercings and carrying a whip and leash.

The escort says, "Oh, I can't wait to put this leash on you. We're gonna have a good time!"

At which Highway storms out of the trailer muttering, "ain't gonna wear no leash. No way, no how! Ain't gonna do it. What is this crap? Don't they know I'm a big star?"

So, Highway takes off to see how Cruzer is making out at the hospital. He holds a glass up to the door to see what he can hear. He hears a lot of ladies giggling and then he hears Cruzer saying, "Marco! "Marco!" And, then the ladies saying, "Polo!" and giggling some more.

bluejaybee · Apr 6, 2009

Marco Polo? Nothing wrong with that, so highway opens the door expecting to find cruzer in his white suit, but lo and behold, he was...

highway star · Apr 6, 2009

...wearing army camo, along with Wellarmed. The fuel attendants were playing Marco Polo with each other in the rooms small tub, which did, ahhh, intrigue Star. "So Cruzer, you are alive, right? Cuz, I gotta tell ya, I'm having a little trouble keeping up. What are you guys up to?"

"We just got word that Doug's being fleeced for money by members of a gang from Brooklyn. They're known as "The Fudds." They follow the teachings of Elmer Fudd and his never ending quest to catch the 'wasscally wabbit'. They tell you they can take you where you need to go, but instead they get you lost, take your money and leave you by the side of the road."

Wellarmed throws Star a gun and says, "here's the plan...

DougTravels · Apr 7, 2009

We got all of these signs stacked up that say rabbit season, then duck season,then rabbit season, then duck season, and so on then on then the bottom one says" Highway interupts and says "Elmer season right" Wellarmed replies "Yeah, how'd you know?" Highway shakes his head in disbelief and...........

Yesteryear · Apr 8, 2009

luck guess! So Wellarmed, Highway Star and cruzer jump in their trucks and head to Brooklyn in hot pursuit of the gang of ruffians threatening their dear friend Doug travels. As they come upon the same low clearance sign they exit the highway with Wellarmed in the lead followed closely by Highway Star and Cruzer. All of a sudden some guy jumps up on Wellarmed's running board . . . .

DougTravels · Apr 9, 2009

and to say that was a mistake would be putting it mildly. Wellarmed .......................

Yesteryear · Apr 9, 2009

took one look at the guy standing on his running board, a big grin split across his face and a look entered his eyes. The guy looks at Wellarmed and says with a big smile "20 dollas and I show you the way". Wellarmed looks at the guy and his grin widens. The guy gets really quite as he looks into Wellarmed's eyes, his smile slowly fades as pasty look comes over his face.