Search results

This is an annual contest where people are asked to supply alternate definitions to commmon words. This years winners ARE: 1. Coffee (n.) the person upon whom one coughs. 2. Flabbergasted (adj.) appalled over how much weight you have gained. 3. Abdicate (v.) to give up all hope of ever...

The Reverend John Fluff was the pastor in a small town in Ireland. One day he was walking down the high street when he noticed a young lady of his congregation sitting in a pub drinking beer. The Reverend wasn't happy! He walked through the open door of the pub and sat down next to the...

One day, a man came home and was greeted by his wife dressed in a very Sexy nightie. "Tie me up," she purred, "and you can do anything you want." So he tied her up and went golfing. ***************************************** A woman came home, screeching her car into the driveway, and ran into...

What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball? Juan on Juan What is the difference between a Harley rider and a Hoover ? The position of the dirt bag Why is divorce so expensive? Because it's worth it. What do you see when the Pillsbury Dough Boy bends over? Doughnuts...

A guy from West Virginia passed away and left his entire estate to his Beloved widow, but she can't touch it till she's 14. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ How do you know when you're staying in a West Virginia hotel? When you call the front desk and say, "I got a leak in my sink," and the Clerk replies...

The doctor said, "Bill, the good news is I can cure your headaches. The bad news is that it will require castration. You have a very rare condition, which causes your testicles to press on your spine and the pressure creates a terrible headache. The only way to relieve the pressure is to remove...

Two Irish guys walk out of a bar.........

Inside.

CAN YOU READ THIS? fi yuo cna raed tihs, yuo hvae a sgtrane mnid too. Cna yuo raed tihs? Olny 55 plepoe out of 100 can. i cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it dseno't...

Dear Abby: My husband is a liar and a cheat. He has cheated on me from the beginning, and when I confront him, he denies everything. What's worse, everyone knows that he cheats on me. It's so humiliating. Also, since he lost his job 6 years ago, he hasn't even looked for a new...

First thing to do is to put your temper and or ego in your pocket. Stay as safe a distance as possible, from any vehicle, and let them when passing if you see any sign of possible danger to them and/or yourself.Slow down significantly if necessary, to allow them to get far enough ahead, or speed...

I would have just taken the valve core out of one of his rear tires, and been on my merry way.

The Smiths were unable to conceive children and decided to use a surrogate father to start their family. On the day the proxy father was to arrive, Mr. Smith kissed his wife goodbye and said, "Well, I'm off now. The man should be here soon." Half an hour later, just by chance, a door-to-door...

She spent the first day packing her belongings into boxes, crates, and suitcases. On the second day, she had the movers come and collect her things. On the third day, she sat down for the last time at their beautiful dining room table by candlelight, put on some soft background music, and...

What, you ask, is "Butt dust?" Read on and you'll discover the joy in it! JACK (age 3) was watching his Mom breast-feeding his new baby sister. After a while he asked: "Mom why have you got two? Is one for hot and one for cold milk?" MELANIE (age 5) asked...

I agree with Team Caffee. We had a house when we first went on the road, and every time we came home we spent our time doing maintenance. The biggest problem was the lawn. It became ruined over time, as the lawn services don´t give it the attention it needs to keep it the way it should be kept...

I ran a Kodiak back in the late 90´s, and it was a good truck. I had to modify the interior some to accomodate gear by adding storage areas. The biggest problem was the Cat 3126 engine. I think that´s the engine of preference for Kodiak, if not the only choice. I don´t know about todays...

Good one terry!

Nursery Rhymes for Big Kids ~*~ Mary had a little pig, She kept it fat and fit; And when the price of pork went up, She shot the little twit. ~*~ MARY HAD A LITTLE LAMB Her father shot it dead. Now it goes to school with her, Between two hunks of bread. ~*~ JACK AND JILL Went up...

I´m taking some time off to enjoy the sun and R%R. I was recently driving south of the border while vacationing, in Mexico and I saw alot of Scania trucks.Most I saw were tractors, but some looked like class 7 applications. Nice looking rigs, and they also obviously make busses too. I had seen...