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I used to look forward to Hook buffets. Now, it's the same thing every day with very little variance. I can tell you exactly what's going to be offered on the next Hook buffet you stop at. It's like they've stopped trying.

Illinois drivers are fantastic drivers. And I'm not just saying that. The worst drivers are Texans and Iowans, worst that I've found, anyway.

So what's the deal with Texas drivers? I came out of there a couple days ago, and I couldn't believe what I was seeing. Drivers (many) driving slow in the left lane, not moving over when a faster vehicle was behind them. Then, when we'd get into a town and the speed limit would drop, they...

Forgot to link this bit, this one from Norm McDonald on the first two gay guys: YouTube - Norm MacDonald, Will Ferrell - World's First Two Gay Guys But then you'd know that the reason we do so is because we're told to in that big book we like to read. It tells us to meet to worship and...

I stopped in the Loves near Little Rock. I noticed they have their own, Loves-branded sandwich shop there now. Everything looks like it was modeled after Subway. I'm a sucker for anything new, so I ordered one. The counter woman put on a pair of gloves, and THEN picked up a wet rag from the...

Anybody tried those small fans you put in your window to mitigate the Greenhouse Effect? They're small, and you put them in your window frame and then roll up the window, and plug them in. Some of them are solar powered, I think. When your window is rolled up, they only occupy a couple inches...

I had a load the other day that almost caused a problem for me. I was getting unloaded and the guy on the forklift said, "Don't let the guard see your dog!" I told him she already knew about my dog because she was barking while I was talking to the guard. On the way out, I told her the guy...

You know, the problem isn't them buying radar guns. One of the insurance companies had an ad campaign that showed cops pulling people over and asking for their proof of insurance. The voiceover or subtext said something to the effect of the cops being their best salesmen. And I thought...

The original Operation Wetback seemed to work. Illegals were running for the border on their own.

She got off lucky. There have been similar episodes in which the Japanese or Chinese tattoo artist inked "tiny p****" onto an unwitting customer. Not sure if that word would get posted, so I munged it.

You know, when I became politically aware, it was the Republicans who revered the Bill of Rights, the rule of law, the Constitution, etc. Again, during the 90s, during the Clinton administration, it was the left who were interested in curtailing rights while the right defended them. What...

Ah, yes, the "Why trade 1 tyrant 1000 miles away for 100 tyrants 1 mile away?" question. Still a good question.

Haiku written during a holiday weekend: ----------------------------- Stupid four-wheelers Clogging up lanes of traffic Why didn't you fly? ----------------------------- Look in your mirror See your camper fishtailing? That's my bumper, fool. ----------------------------- Weekend warriors Clog...

Those are the ones. I disapprove of them less than I disapprove of the people who think they're obscene and that children should be shielded from them.

No, wait, the lawyer's got a point. It's not wrong to have the urge; it's only wrong if you act on that urge. Wait...where have I heard this before?

The opposite of what modern liberals call selfishness is theft, rooted in sloth and envy. Wanting to keep what's morally, legally, and ethically yours isn't selfish.

Think of all the suffering you're setting them up for, though. People who love freedom and think for themselves are going to have a hard time in the coming years. I read an open letter from a woman dying of cancer to her two daughters. One of them didn't have a political thought in her head...

You ever wonder what you'd do if/when martial law is declared while you're 6 states away from home? Think of all the roadblocks and checkpoints you'd have to get through. Being a good American doesn't guarantee you'd be allowed to go home when you wanted.

This reminds me of the municipalities that are trying to outlaw the decorative scrotums some drivers dangle from the rear of their vehicle. The reason given is some variant of "to protect the children." They need to stop being so easily offended at normal anatomy and take their children to a...