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A girl goes into the doctor's office for a checkup. As she takes off her blouse, he notices a red "H" on her chest. "How did you get that mark on your chest?" asks the doctor. "Oh, my boyfriend went to Harvard and he's so proud of it that he never takes off his Harvard sweatshirt, even when...

Husband comes home from work and finds his wife standing in the mirror rubbing her breast with tissue. Husband: Honey, why are you standing in the mirror rubbing your breast with tissue ? Wife: Well, I was watching Oprah this afternoon and she had this expert on the panel who says a...

High-Tech Car Factory

Deck the halls with boughs of non-endangered plant species Fa la la la la, la la la la 'Tis the season to be self-actualizing, Fa la la la la, la la la la Don we now our alternate-lifestyle apparel Fa la la la la, la la la la Toll the ancient non-denominational-winter-solstice-holiday...

In the beginning, there was the Plan. And then came the Assumptions. And the Assumptions were without form, And the Plan was without substance. And the darkness was upon the face of the workers, and they spoke among themselves saying, "It is a crock of kaka, and it stinketh." And the...

1. Thou shalt always fool around on your girlfriend (that way when she dumps you can always get the last laugh). 2. Thou shalt not do thy girlfriends friends unless you're sure you can get away with it AND it happens in her bed. 3. Thou shalt never spend more than $100...

Dear Earthling, Hello! I am a creature from a galaxy far away, visiting your planet. I have transformed myself into this text file. As you are reading it, I am having sex with your eyeballs. I know you like it because you are smiling. Please pass me on to someone else because I'm really horny.

A man named Fred was well into middle age, and had never had a "relationship" with a woman. He was unattractive, poor, and had little you could call personality. His strong moral upbringing prevented him from paying for sex. He had all but resolved to spend the rest of his life a frustrated...

Two nuns are ordered to paint a room in the convent, and the last instruction of the Mother Superior is that they must not get even a drop of paint on their habits. After conferring about this for a while, the two nuns decide to lock the door of the room, strip off their habits, and paint in...