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Light travels faster than sound. That's why some people appear bright until you hear them speak."

Calling an illegal alien an 'undocumented immigrant' is like calling a drug dealeran 'unlicensed pharmacist '

Due to a power outage, only one paramedic responded to the call. The house was very dark so the paramedic asked Kathleen, a 3-yr old girl to hold a flashlight high over her mommy so he could see while he helped deliver the baby. Very diligently, Kathleen did as she was asked. Heidi pushed and...

----- Joe Smith started the day early having set his alarm clock (MADE IN JAPAN ) for 6am. While his coffeepot (MADE IN CHINA ) was perking, he shaved with his electric razor (MADE IN HONG KONG ). He put on a dress shirt (MADE IN SRI LANKA )...

As a trucker stops for a red light, a blonde catches up. She jumps out of her car, runs up to his truck, and knocks on the door. The trucker lowers the window, and she says "Hi, my name is Heather and you are losing some of your load." The trucker ignores her and proceeds down the street. When...

This has been around before butis still will make you smile At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down. Now here are the rules from the male side Please note... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE! 1. Men are NOT mind readers. 1. Learn to work the toilet...

i received this in my Email 1. How Do You Catch a Unique Rabbit? Unique Up On It. 2. How Do You Catch a Tame Rabbit? Tame Way, Unique Up On It. 3. How Do Crazy People Go Through The Forest ? They Take The Psycho Path 4. How Do You Get Holy Water? You Boil The Hell Out Of...

Bush wants us to cut the amount of gas we use. The best way to stop using so much gas is to deport 11 million illegal immigrants! That would be 11 million less people using our gas. The price of gas would come down..... Bring our troops home from Iraq to guard the Border. When they catch...

Harry is getting along in years and finds that he is unable to perform sexually. He finally goes to his doctor, who tries a few things but nothing seems to work. So the doctor refers him to an American Indian medicine man. The medicine man says, "I can cure this." That said, he...

----- On Relevant 'Logic' . . . Everyone concentrates on the problems we're having in this country lately; illegal immigration, hurricane recovery, alligators attacking people in Florida . . Not me. I concentrate on solutions for the problems. It's a win-win situation. + Dig a...

If you want someone who will eat whatever you put in front of him and never says its not quite as good as his mother made it... Then buy a dog. If you want someone always willing to go out, at any hour, for as long and wherever you want . Then buy a dog. If you want...

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S'ex & Fishing! A young guy from Texas moves to California and goes to a big mega-department store looking for a job. The manager says, "Do you have any sales experience?" The kid says, "Yeah, I was a salesman back home in Texas." Well, the boss liked the kid so he gave him the job. "You...

Guts: after comming home late with a night out with the guys,your wife meets you with a broom in her hand,and you have the Guts to ask if she is still cleaning or going to fly away. Balls: after getting home late with a night out with the guys,you arrive back home,smelling of beer and...

has anyone found my cat,last seen going into fire station

Just thought I'd wish myself a happy birthday.This is only the 3rd time I have spent this day away from home in the 30 years I've been driving truck,but since I was home last week,and will be home again next weekend,do to the holiday,I'm working this weekend.