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1. Picture yourself near a stream 2. Birds are chirping in the crisp, cool mountain air 3.Nothing can bother you here. No one knows this secret place 4.You are in total seclusion from that place called 'the world' the soothing sound of a gentle waterfall fills the air with a...

I BRAKE FOR NO APPARENT REASON. MONEY ISN'T FREE-SO DON'T ASK FOR ANY. COVER ME! I'M CHANGING LANES LICENSE PLATE ON CAR---WAS HIS! LAUGH ALONE and the WORLD THINKS YOU 'RE AN IDIOT HE WHO LAUGHS LAST-THINKS SLOWEST. WHERE THERE'S A WILL-I WANT TO BE IN IT. FEW WOMEN ADMIT...

Released this week; Predicting a wet and stormier than usual winter from mid atlantic to new england. Guess they didn't get enough snow last year.:(

Never could I have imagine, I would have a friend like you. One who is so giving, One who is s true. If I before you I promise you this, I will bring you across, I will give you a kiss. And when the angels come for me and ask me what I knew. I will show them my heart, I will show...

You got it from your father, it was all he had to give. So it's yours to use and cherish, for as long as you shall live. If you lose the watch he gave you, it can always be replaced. But a black mark on yor name son, can never be replaced. It was clean the day you took...

Maxine's Guide to aging : I'm at the age where I need my own warning label.. I've reached the age where anyone younger than me is a punk.. Any woman can have the body of a 21-year-old...as long as buys him a few drinks first Gray hair is a neutral color that goes with everything...

One day in the Garden of Eden, Eve calls out to God.. ''Lord, I have a problem !" Whats the problem Eve?'' I know you created me and provided this beautiful garden and all these wonderfull animals, and that hilarious comedic snake, but I am just not happy.'' Why is that Eve? came the...

Do you realize the only time in our lives when we like to get old is when we're kids ? If you are less than 10 years old, you are so excited about aging that you think in fractions How old are you ? you're 4 and a half...going on 5. That's the key ! you get into you're teens, now they...

Walk a little plainer,Daddy,said a little boy so frail. I'm following in your footsteps and do not want to fail. Sometimes you're steps are plain,other times hard to see, so walk a litter plainer Daddy for you are leading me. I know you onced walked this way, many years ago, and what you...

A gynecologist decides he'd had enough with gynecology. He wanted to go and fulfill his life long dream and become a car mechanic. So he studied hard, and when he felt he was ready, he registered to go take the the state licensing test. The results arrived a few weeks later-and with...

If stuck in ontario,ca on weekend-go I 15 south to temecula canyon rd-22 miles fron trk stp, you can get a semi in there (no overnight parking) -PARK LIKE SETTING, food,craft fair,candy store,produce stand,huge furniture store to browse,hamburgs, mexican, order pizza and subs-sit on patio or...

Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change. The courage to accept the things I cannot accept. AND the wisdom to hide the bodies of those people I had to behead today because they ****ed me off!! And, help me to be carefull of the toes I step on today, as they may be...

A 54 year old accountant leaves a letter for his wife- it reads Dear wife-I am 54 and by the time you read this letter I will be at the Grand Hotel with my beautiful and sexy 18 year old secetary. When he arrived at the hotel a letter was waiting for him it read: Dear husband. I too am...

I had a near death experience yesterday that changed me forever. I went horseback riding-everything was going fine until the horse started bouncing out of control ! I tried with all my might to hang on, but was thrown off. Just when things could not possibly get worse, my foot got caught...

I stole this from a friend who stole it from a friend-and so on-who ever started this-stand up and toot your horn. They sent my census form back AGAIN!!!!! In response to the question " Do you have any dependents ?) I replied 12 million illeagle immagrants 3 million crack heads 42...