For the family man

[jaminjim]

I notice that in Leo’s poll there were around thirty people who were under the ripe old age of fifty. Of those, I wonder how many people have high school age children or younger.

Of the members who have young children at home, how many think that they are really raising said children. Or are you just supporting your kids financially? Is the mother of the children really just a single mom who hopefully receives a large enough check to pay the bills? Aren’t you more like an uncle who comes around once a month or so?

I have seen it said here: “I always wanted to do this.†“This has always been a dream of mine.â€â€œ I love what I do†, “I can’t imagine doing anything else†Shouldn’t your desire to enjoy the life style of trucking be put off until you have fulfilled your commitments at home to your children.

Do you really think that supporting one’s family means sending the check home and calling four or five times a week? Do you think that money is what fatherhood is?

Do you think your children will like the fact that you spend quality time with them a day or two a month? Are you able to give them the same guidance as a father that is there day in and day out?

Provided they are equally good men how have their kids best interest at heart, which father provides a more stable life style for their kids?

 

[bryan]

Hi

That question has ran through my mind ever since I started doing this.The best answer that I can come up with is neither situation and here is why.

1. both parents work thus taking away at least 10 hours per day from their kids.
2.both parents sleep thats another 8 hours
3.both watch tv an average of 4 hours per day.
4.paying bills,mowing the lawn,washing the car and other household task take away most of the remaining 4 hours.

My kids and their friends claim that I spent more quality time with them than most parents.For me it was a privilage to go to my kids games and plays not a chore.I was always trying to make up for the time I was away from them not trying to find an excuse to get them out of my hair.I enjoyed trying to help my kids with their homework while driving down the road or while sitting in a truck stop it broke up the monotony of the job.

We also tried to include the kids in the business as much as possible.Heck my kids learned math via the mile marker system.They also got real good at reading maps because I would call them and have them look up my directions on Streets and Trips because I didn't have a lap top.They probably had more first hand knowledge of US and Canadian geography than most adults.

The house, the yard and the dishes suffered from lack of attention.The kids are gone at 18 that stuff will be around for the rest of my life.

 

[zanico]

Excellent post! That is why I'm waiting to pursue this career. I have school age children and do not want to miss out on their lives. Sports events and other after school activities, and just being involved in there everyday lives. I just can't miss that.

 

[jwgmover]

So what's the point of this Post??

Or are you just looking for someone else to beat up on.

 

[jaminjim]

Someone to beat up on??????Do you need beatup on?

No I think more along the line of having some of the newer people understand that the sacrafices made are not just on the drivers side.

Why?;-)

 

[jaminjim]

Do you feel that drivers should not take this topic into consideration?

 

[RichM]

Good post Jim,It certainly gives food for thought.

 

[Broompilot]

Jim,

I accept full responsiblity for raising my daughter, and niece whos father died.

Now should you not be asking all of those sperm donors, who have no ties that tax payers support instead of them? How many of those are in this industry?

I great father I do not consider myself one, many on here may dissagree. A supporting father I am, and I need to be critized for accepting full responsibility? Thanks for the complitment, from one who accepts 100% responsibilty for success or failure but thats my choice not someone elses. Devil Advicate I may be....


GUILTY AS CHARGED without a trail as well.

 

[jwgmover]

> Of the members who have young children at home, how many
>think that they are really raising said children. Or are you
>just supporting your kids financially? Is the mother of the
>children really just a single mom who hopefully receives a
>large enough check to pay the bills? Aren’t you more like
>an uncle who comes around once a month or so?
>

I don't see anywhere in your post where you refer to newbie's with kids entering into this business? Maybe I can't read?

As I said before, what's your point?

Personal experience?

Maybe you want to thin the ranks?

JAM

 

[geo]

great post
alot to think about

 

[jaminjim]

>I don't see anywhere in your post where you refer to
>newbie's with kids entering into this business? Maybe I
>can't read?
>
>As I said before, what's your point?
>
>Personal experience?
>
>Maybe you want to thin the ranks?
>
>JAM

Personal experience, nope. Thin the ranks, hummm not a bad idea,do you think it will work.

As you said "whats your point" Not sure but you may have just made it.

 

[flatbedin]

Have you looked at the poverty level in today's society? How about the average cases of bankruptcy each month? Number of foreclosed mortgages? The list could go on and on..

Financial independence.. Isn't that what most people are searching for in life. I have tried and tried, but the voices in my head keep telling me the wrong numbers for the lottery, so I chase the white lines in the road..

I actually came from a "very" good paying job. That I was home every night and weekends. Left it to do what I am doing now. Was it a wise choice? Maybe you would say no, but let's see, my blood pressure has dropped back down to normal,(yeah they had to take it twice to pass my physical) I don't get the pounding headaches I used to get every day. What's the fun in living in a factory, or a job that you are home everyday if you die at 35 of a heart attack??

Sacrifices may have to be made, but if you set up a goal with a time line, follow it to a tee, then maybe the rewards pay off in 5 to 10 years, instead of 30 in a factory.

Each is to his own. What I do may not work for everyone, but it works for me..

"Unless you can die my death, don't try to live my life.."

 

[rmctt2]

Flatbedin...
Very well done !!!
My thoughts 100 %
I am leaving a job that I dislike and have disliked for a long time..
I was always told Job Security is the way to go..
Glad to make the move to finally do something I have wanted to do for a long time..
Thanks Flatbedin..

 

[fastman_1]

I'm 48 Have 4 sons oldest is 29 youngest is 21 been on the the road in one form or another for 28 years, I missed it all, Bitrhdays, Teaching them to Drive, Graduations,and 1 Wedding. But my wife raised 4 Great sons 3 went to college and 1 followed me in this Profession, Would I do it again....yep






































Owner/Operator since 1979
Expediter since 1997
B Unit Semi Retired
Somedays are Diamonds and Somedays are Stones
Home is Wherever you Park.
The Price of Freedom is Written on the Wall.

 

[jaminjim]

Are you saying that you missed one of your kids wedding?

 

[Big Redd]

For a change I'll chime in.I'm 48 with 5 kids 4 sons and a daughter. From 25 to 16..and I have been happily married for 26 years.. I have been on the road for the last 22 yrs.Yes I have missed a thing or two in my families world, but it was because I was working to provide a life for them. When I'm home I'm involved with my family.A truck and my family have pretty much been my world for a long time...My wife did raise 5 great kids,kids who have stayed out of trouble and are all on the road to doing well. I am out here by choice it's all I've ever wanted to do.My being here ment my wife could be home full time for them. Some might not agree with that but it worked well for us.Would I change any of it? No Chance....Now I will quietly return to lurking in the background......

 

[TJ959]

I have only been driving truck for about 6 years but I have been on the road most of my life. In that time I have seen plenty of parents that had no time for their kids. Most of them were folks who worked regular jobs, home every night and every weekend. I don't claim to be the best father in the world but I don't think time at home is the measuring stick to use. My dad was home every night and I hardly knew him. I don't blame him. That was the way men were supposed to be way back then. You need to make quality time for your kids and make them see that they have value and they are loved. I made it to most of the things parents should make it to but I deeply regret missing the things I missed The first step or the first word ETC. These are the things you can't plan ahead for. I did get to be the big shot for a while and wear the suits, drive the company car and all the other shallow crap (except the money) but now I sleep at night and my blood pressure is mostly normal. I think some of us are wired for this kind of work. If we do the workaday thing it burns us up.

 

[jansiemoo]

As a daughter of a lifetime trucker, I have only recently begun to REALLY understand why my dad only came home one or two days a month. As a young child, he always sent postcards and called, but as I became a preteen/teen, I found a lot of resentment for him not being there- if not for me, then for my mom. I spent many years hating him.

The past few years as I've been stumbling into adulthood,(and as I will be for another 20)I understand he thought he was doing what he thought would be best- the same way his father did- paying the bills. I see his fractured and nonexistent relationship with his own father to be such a painful thing for him, and I don't want to be the same.

My decision to be a trucker was entirely my own, but deep down, I know a little part of me wants to understand what my father did and why. I know he sacrificed greatly to keep us fed and clothed, but it was also easier to just let my mom and grandma raise us. It was both selfless and selfish- if you can be both at the same time.

Damnit if I'm cryin at the Pilot.

To any dads reading this- please don't think your kids forget about you, don't be a bear when you do come home, and keep constant contact- even if they're pushing you away- that's what kids do as they grow- they'll need you someday.

-Janet

 

[jaminjim]

Hmmm a very interesting point of view, does it give any a reason to second guess their choice?

 

[Moot]

Uh, hi, my name is Moot. I..I..am always for..uh the road!

For some trucking is an addiction. Unlike drugs or alcohol this addiction pays. But it can also have a devastating effect on family life. The trick is to find a balance between the road and home. I started out driving over-the-road. When my first child was born I found a job with an LTL company where I was home every day or every night. Even with the regular schedule, the hours were long and the home time with the kids was not quality time. The past ten years in expediting have been great. I am usually home on weekends and when I want a week off for a family activity, I take it off.