dhalltoyo
Veteran Expediter
Have you ever wondered why some couples survive a crisis, while others fall apart? What is it that gives a marriage the ability to survive the storms of life?
Donald Harvey, PhD says, “It mostly comes down to what spouses do during the crisis itself.” Do they give comfort and support to each other, or do they withdraw emotionally or cast blame? Do they allow friends or family members to extend support or do they isolate themselves from outside help? Do they cling to a spiritual life or do they rely, instead, on their own understanding and abandon their faith?
How you react during a crisis is important for the survival of your marriage. But the real battle is won or lost before the crisis occurs. A marriage that crumbles under intense pressure is similar to a china cup with a hairline crack. While the cup is sitting on a table, the crack goes unnoticed. However, when the cup is held up to the light, the tiny crack becomes visible. The light doesn't cause the crack; it only illuminates a fracture that already exists.
External crises are like the light, illuminating difficulties that lie under the surface of a marriage. So while the outside influence (the crisis) may seem like the problem, the real problem is what's going on inside the marriage before the crisis strikes.
In Luke 6, Jesus says, “He is like a man which built an house, and digged deep, and laid the foundation on a rock: and when the flood arose, the stream beat vehemently upon that house, and could not shake it: for it was founded upon a rock. But he that heareth, and doeth not, is like a man that without a foundation built an house upon the earth; against which the stream did beat vehemently, and immediately it fell; and the ruin of that house was great.“
When the storms of life come, it’s vital your life and your marriage be built on the principles of Scripture. According to Dr. Harvey: “It's time to face some facts: Life is hard, and you and your spouse are not exempt. It's not an issue of if; it's a matter of when. And when the storms arrive, they will stress your marriage.”
But here's a second fact: You can survive the storms and even be strengthened in the process. You can do it by winning the battle before it begins by strengthening your commitment to your marriage, demonstrating that commitment by building your relationship with your spouse, and growing a faith that embraces the big picture. God always has a future for his people.
Steve Kroening
Donald Harvey, PhD says, “It mostly comes down to what spouses do during the crisis itself.” Do they give comfort and support to each other, or do they withdraw emotionally or cast blame? Do they allow friends or family members to extend support or do they isolate themselves from outside help? Do they cling to a spiritual life or do they rely, instead, on their own understanding and abandon their faith?
How you react during a crisis is important for the survival of your marriage. But the real battle is won or lost before the crisis occurs. A marriage that crumbles under intense pressure is similar to a china cup with a hairline crack. While the cup is sitting on a table, the crack goes unnoticed. However, when the cup is held up to the light, the tiny crack becomes visible. The light doesn't cause the crack; it only illuminates a fracture that already exists.
External crises are like the light, illuminating difficulties that lie under the surface of a marriage. So while the outside influence (the crisis) may seem like the problem, the real problem is what's going on inside the marriage before the crisis strikes.
In Luke 6, Jesus says, “He is like a man which built an house, and digged deep, and laid the foundation on a rock: and when the flood arose, the stream beat vehemently upon that house, and could not shake it: for it was founded upon a rock. But he that heareth, and doeth not, is like a man that without a foundation built an house upon the earth; against which the stream did beat vehemently, and immediately it fell; and the ruin of that house was great.“
When the storms of life come, it’s vital your life and your marriage be built on the principles of Scripture. According to Dr. Harvey: “It's time to face some facts: Life is hard, and you and your spouse are not exempt. It's not an issue of if; it's a matter of when. And when the storms arrive, they will stress your marriage.”
But here's a second fact: You can survive the storms and even be strengthened in the process. You can do it by winning the battle before it begins by strengthening your commitment to your marriage, demonstrating that commitment by building your relationship with your spouse, and growing a faith that embraces the big picture. God always has a future for his people.
Steve Kroening