political correct lingo

[HoboOfTheHwy]

Due to the climate of political correctness now pervading America,
Kentuckians, Tennesseans and West Virginians will no longer be referred
to as "HILLBILLIES."

You must now refer to them as
APPALACHIAN-AMERICANS.
And furthermore

HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT WOMEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:

1. She is not a "BABE" or a "CHICK" - She is a
"BREASTED AMERICAN."

2. She is not "EASY" - She is

"HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE."

3. She is not a "DUMB BLONDE" - She is a
"LIGHT-HAIRED DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY."

4. She has not "BEEN AROUND" - She is a
"PREVIOUSLY-ENJOYED COMPANION."

5. She does not "NAG" you - She becomes
"VERBALLY REPETITIVE."

6. She is not a "TWO-BIT HOOKER" - She is a
"LOW COST PROVIDER."

HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT MEN AND BE POLITICALLY
CORRECT:

1. He does not have a "BEER GUT" - He has developed a
"LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE FACILITY."

2. He is not a "BAD DANCER" - He is
"OVERLY CAUCASIAN."

3. He does not "GET LOST ALL THE TIME" - He
"INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE DESTINATIONS." Works for females also,except going to the mall.

4. He is not "BALDING" - He is in
"FOLLICLE REGRESSION."

5. He does not act like a "TOTAL #####" - He develops a case of

"RECTAL-CRANIAL INVERSION."



6. It's not his "PLUMBERS CRACK" you see hanging out of his pants - It's "REAR CLEAVAGE."

 

[theoldprof]

Hobo writes:

5. He does not act like a "TOTAL #####" - He develops a case of

"RECTAL-CRANIAL INVERSION."

Add to that:

"He walks around with his head up his a##". He has a case of

"Cranial-Rectal-INSERTION-Syndrone", or CRIS.

:+ :+