[FONT="]This is from David....
[/FONT]
[FONT="]These 16 Police Comments were taken off actual [/FONT]
[FONT="]police car videos around the country:[/FONT]
[FONT="]1. "You know, stop lights don't come any redder than the [/FONT]
[FONT="] one you just went through."[/FONT]
[FONT="]2. "Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they're new. [/FONT]
[FONT="] They stretch after awhile."[/FONT]
[FONT="]3. "If you take your hands off the car, I'll make your [/FONT]
[FONT="] birth certificate a worthless document."[/FONT]
[FONT="]4. "If you run, you'll only go to jail tired."[/FONT]
[FONT="]5. "Can you run faster than 1200 feet per second? [/FONT]
[FONT="] Because that's the speed of the bullet that'll be chasing you"[/FONT]
[FONT="]6. "You don't know how fast you were going? I guess that means I can write [/FONT]
[FONT="]anything I want to on the ticket, huh?"[/FONT]
[FONT="]7. "Yes, sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't think it will help. [/FONT]
[FONT="]Oh, did I mention that I am the shift supervisor?"[/FONT]
[FONT="]8. "Warning! You want a warning? OK., I'm warning you [/FONT]
[FONT="] not to do that again or I'll give you another ticket."[/FONT]
[FONT="]9. "The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not. [/FONT]
[FONT="]Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?"[/FONT]
[FONT="]10. "Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where you go to ride [/FONT]
[FONT="]on rides, eat cotton candy and corn dogs and step in monkey poop."[/FONT]
[FONT="]11. "Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven."[/FONT]
[FONT="]12. "In God we trust, all others we run through NCIC."[/FONT]
[FONT="]13. "How big were those 'two beers' you say you had?"[/FONT]
[FONT="]14. "No sir, we don't have quotas anymore. We used to, but now we're allowed [/FONT]
[FONT="]to write as many tickets as we can."[/FONT]
[FONT="]15. "I'm glad to hear that the Chief (of Police) is a personal friend of yours. [/FONT]
[FONT="]So you know someone who can post your bail."[/FONT]
[FONT="]AND THE WINNER IS....[/FONT]
[FONT="]16. "You didn't think we give pretty women tickets? [/FONT]
[FONT="] You're right, we don't. Sign here."[/FONT]
[/FONT]
[FONT="]These 16 Police Comments were taken off actual [/FONT]
[FONT="]police car videos around the country:[/FONT]
[FONT="]1. "You know, stop lights don't come any redder than the [/FONT]
[FONT="] one you just went through."[/FONT]
[FONT="]2. "Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they're new. [/FONT]
[FONT="] They stretch after awhile."[/FONT]
[FONT="]3. "If you take your hands off the car, I'll make your [/FONT]
[FONT="] birth certificate a worthless document."[/FONT]
[FONT="]4. "If you run, you'll only go to jail tired."[/FONT]
[FONT="]5. "Can you run faster than 1200 feet per second? [/FONT]
[FONT="] Because that's the speed of the bullet that'll be chasing you"[/FONT]
[FONT="]6. "You don't know how fast you were going? I guess that means I can write [/FONT]
[FONT="]anything I want to on the ticket, huh?"[/FONT]
[FONT="]7. "Yes, sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't think it will help. [/FONT]
[FONT="]Oh, did I mention that I am the shift supervisor?"[/FONT]
[FONT="]8. "Warning! You want a warning? OK., I'm warning you [/FONT]
[FONT="] not to do that again or I'll give you another ticket."[/FONT]
[FONT="]9. "The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not. [/FONT]
[FONT="]Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?"[/FONT]
[FONT="]10. "Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where you go to ride [/FONT]
[FONT="]on rides, eat cotton candy and corn dogs and step in monkey poop."[/FONT]
[FONT="]11. "Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven."[/FONT]
[FONT="]12. "In God we trust, all others we run through NCIC."[/FONT]
[FONT="]13. "How big were those 'two beers' you say you had?"[/FONT]
[FONT="]14. "No sir, we don't have quotas anymore. We used to, but now we're allowed [/FONT]
[FONT="]to write as many tickets as we can."[/FONT]
[FONT="]15. "I'm glad to hear that the Chief (of Police) is a personal friend of yours. [/FONT]
[FONT="]So you know someone who can post your bail."[/FONT]
[FONT="]AND THE WINNER IS....[/FONT]
[FONT="]16. "You didn't think we give pretty women tickets? [/FONT]
[FONT="] You're right, we don't. Sign here."[/FONT]