Martha vs. Maxine

grog111

Seasoned Expediter
Is there one that's BEYOND Maxine?






*Martha's Way*
Stuff a miniature marshmallow in the bottom of a sugar cone to prevent ice cream drips.



*Maxine's Way *
Just suck the ice cream out of the bottom of the cone, for Pete's sake! You are probably lying on the couch with your feet up eating it, anyway!

*martha's way*
To keep potatoes from budding, place an apple in the bag with the potatoes.

*maxine's way*
Buy Hungry Jack mashed potato mix, keep it in the pantry for up to a year.

*MARTHA'S WAY*
When a cake recipe calls for flouring the baking pan, use a bit of the dry cake mix instead and there won't be any white mess on the outside of the cake.

*maxine's way*
Go to the bakery! They'll even decorate it for you.

*martha's way*
If you accidentally over salt a dish while it's still cooking, drop in a peeled potato and it will absorb the excess salt for an instant "fix-me-up."

*maxine's way*
If you over salt a dish while you are cooking, that's too bad. Please recite with me the real woman's motto: "I made it and you will eat it and I don't care how bad it tastes!"

*martha's way*
Wrap celery in aluminum foil when putting in the refrigerator and it will keep for weeks.

*maxine's way*
Celery? Never heard of it!

*martha's way*
Brush some beaten egg white over pie crust before baking to yield a beautiful glossy finish.

*maxine's way
The Mrs. Smith frozen pie directions do not include brushing egg whites over the crust so I don't.

*martha's way*
Cure for headaches: take a lime, cut it in half and rub it on your forehead. The throbbing will go away.

*maxine's way*
Take a lime, mix it with tequila, chill and drink!

*martha's way*
If you have a problem opening jars, try using latex dishwashing gloves. They give a non-slip grip that makes opening jars easy.

*maxine's way*
Go ask that very cute neighbor if he can open it for you.

*MARTHA'S WAY*
Don't throw out all that leftover wine. Freeze into ice cubes for future use in casseroles and sauces.

*Maxine's way*
Leftover wine???????????
HELLO !!!!!!!




As usual, if you don't forward this to 1 of your friends within the next 5 minutes, your belly button will unscrew and your butt will fall off. Really... it's true! Have I ever lied to you?
 
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