HoboOfTheHwy
Expert Expediter
>>I am a medical student currently doing a rotation in toxicology at
the
>>poison control center.
>>
>>Today, this woman called in very upset because she caught her
little
>>daughter eating ants.
>>
>>I quickly reassured her that the ants are not harmful and there
would
be
no
>>need to bring her daughter into the hospital. She calmed down and
at
the
>>end of the conversation happened to mention that she gave her
daughter
some
>>ant poison to eat in order to kill the ants.
>>
>>I told her that she better bring her daughter into the emergency
room
right
>>away.
>>
>>Early this year, some Boeing employees on the airfield decided to
steal
a
>>life raft from one of the 747s. They were successful in getting it
out
of
>>the plane and home.
>>
>>Shortly after they took it for a float on the river, they noticed a
Coast
>>Guard helicopter coming towards them.
>>
>>It turned out that the chopper was homing in on the emergency
locator
>>beacon that activated when the raft was inflated. They are no
longer
>>employed at Boeing.
>>
>>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>>
>>
>>A man, wanting to rob a downtown Bank of America, walked into the
Branch
>>and wrote this. "Put all your muny in this bag."
>>
>>While standing in line, waiting to give his note to the teller, he
began
to
>>worry that someone had seen him write the note and might call the
police
>>before he reached the teller's window. So he left the Bank of
America
and
>>crossed the street to the Wells Fargo Bank. After waiting a few
minutes
in
>>line, he handed his note to the Wells Fargo teller. She read it
and,
>>surmising from his spelling errors that he wasn't the brightest
light
in
>>the harbor, told him that she could not accept his stickup note
because
it
>>was written on a Bank of America deposit slip and that he would
either
have
>>to fill out a Wells Fargo deposit slip or go back to Bank of
America.
>>
>>Looking somewhat defeated, the! man said, "OK" and left. He was
arrested a
>>few minutes later, as he was waiting in line back at Bank of
America.
>>
>>Don't bother with this guy's sign. He probably couldn't read it
anyway.
>>
>>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>>
>>A motorist was unknowingly caught in an automated speed trap that;
measured
>>his speed using radar and photographed his car. He later received
in
the
>>mail a ticket for $40 and a photo of his car. Instead of payment,
he
sent
>>the police department a photograph of $40.
>>
>>Several days later, he received a letter from the police that
contained
>>another picture, this time of handcuffs.
>>
>>He immediately mailed in his $40.
>>
>>
>>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>>
>>A guy walked into a little corner store with a shotgun and demanded
all
of
>>the cash from the cash drawer.
>>
>>After the cashier put the cash in a bag, the robber saw a bottle of
Scotch
>>that he wanted behind the counter on the shelf.
>>
>>He told the cashier to put it in the bag as well, but the cashier
refused
>>and said, "Because I don't believe you are over 21."
>>
>>The robber said he was, but the clerk still refused to give it to
him
>>because she didn't believe him.
>>
>>At this point, the robber took his driver's license out of his
wallet
and
>>gave it to the clerk.
>>
>>The clerk looked it over and agreed that the man was in fact over
21
and
>>she put the Scotch in the bag.
>>
>>The robber then ran from the store with his loot.
>>
>>The cashier promptly called the police and gave the name and
address of
the
>>robber that he got off the license.
>>
>>They arrested the robber two hours later.
the
>>poison control center.
>>
>>Today, this woman called in very upset because she caught her
little
>>daughter eating ants.
>>
>>I quickly reassured her that the ants are not harmful and there
would
be
no
>>need to bring her daughter into the hospital. She calmed down and
at
the
>>end of the conversation happened to mention that she gave her
daughter
some
>>ant poison to eat in order to kill the ants.
>>
>>I told her that she better bring her daughter into the emergency
room
right
>>away.
>>
>>Early this year, some Boeing employees on the airfield decided to
steal
a
>>life raft from one of the 747s. They were successful in getting it
out
of
>>the plane and home.
>>
>>Shortly after they took it for a float on the river, they noticed a
Coast
>>Guard helicopter coming towards them.
>>
>>It turned out that the chopper was homing in on the emergency
locator
>>beacon that activated when the raft was inflated. They are no
longer
>>employed at Boeing.
>>
>>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>>
>>
>>A man, wanting to rob a downtown Bank of America, walked into the
Branch
>>and wrote this. "Put all your muny in this bag."
>>
>>While standing in line, waiting to give his note to the teller, he
began
to
>>worry that someone had seen him write the note and might call the
police
>>before he reached the teller's window. So he left the Bank of
America
and
>>crossed the street to the Wells Fargo Bank. After waiting a few
minutes
in
>>line, he handed his note to the Wells Fargo teller. She read it
and,
>>surmising from his spelling errors that he wasn't the brightest
light
in
>>the harbor, told him that she could not accept his stickup note
because
it
>>was written on a Bank of America deposit slip and that he would
either
have
>>to fill out a Wells Fargo deposit slip or go back to Bank of
America.
>>
>>Looking somewhat defeated, the! man said, "OK" and left. He was
arrested a
>>few minutes later, as he was waiting in line back at Bank of
America.
>>
>>Don't bother with this guy's sign. He probably couldn't read it
anyway.
>>
>>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>>
>>A motorist was unknowingly caught in an automated speed trap that;
measured
>>his speed using radar and photographed his car. He later received
in
the
>>mail a ticket for $40 and a photo of his car. Instead of payment,
he
sent
>>the police department a photograph of $40.
>>
>>Several days later, he received a letter from the police that
contained
>>another picture, this time of handcuffs.
>>
>>He immediately mailed in his $40.
>>
>>
>>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>>
>>A guy walked into a little corner store with a shotgun and demanded
all
of
>>the cash from the cash drawer.
>>
>>After the cashier put the cash in a bag, the robber saw a bottle of
Scotch
>>that he wanted behind the counter on the shelf.
>>
>>He told the cashier to put it in the bag as well, but the cashier
refused
>>and said, "Because I don't believe you are over 21."
>>
>>The robber said he was, but the clerk still refused to give it to
him
>>because she didn't believe him.
>>
>>At this point, the robber took his driver's license out of his
wallet
and
>>gave it to the clerk.
>>
>>The clerk looked it over and agreed that the man was in fact over
21
and
>>she put the Scotch in the bag.
>>
>>The robber then ran from the store with his loot.
>>
>>The cashier promptly called the police and gave the name and
address of
the
>>robber that he got off the license.
>>
>>They arrested the robber two hours later.