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Having spent 12 years in Catholic schools many years ago, I thought I had heard all the nun jokes going around.

Community Service One day a florist went to a barber for a haircut. After the cut he asked about his bill and the barber replied, "I cannot accept money from you. I'm doing community service this week." The florist was pleased and left the shop. When the barber came to open his shop the...

Two medical students were walking along the street when they saw an old man walking with his legs spread apart. He was stiff-legged and walking slowly. One student said to his friend: "I'm sure that poor old man has Peltry Syndrome. Those people walk just like that." The other...

I have read that many of the immigrants who came over here legally in the early 1900s went to night school to learn to read and write English. They were really proud when they came home and could read the newspapers to their families. Now they want the whole country to speak their native...

I forgot to mention that when I went for my second, third, and finally fourth CDL driving exam I had to back the TT around some cones in a curve. Don't remember exactly how, but when you backed and turned, just hold onto the wheel and the trailer would do what it was supposed to do. Well...

Sorry, SKIDROCK, I didn't want to raise up any horror stories right before you take your CDL test. That's like telling an expectant mother all the horrible delivery stories or a person going for surgery all the hospital stories. If anyone brings up any stories, hope you might learn from them.

OUR AGE? You're probably no where near my age. I hit 7.0 last week.

May of 08 I had a kidney removed because of a malignant tumor on it. When they took the tubes out and gave me a pain drip with the button I pressed the button at midnight and went to sleep. Woke up about 8:00 AM with no pain. I thought I would wait and see how long I could go without pain...

SKIDROCK had a post in the Newbies thread about passing the CDL. I didn't want to hijack his post. I took my CDL training at a junior college about ten years ago. VERY good training. Anyhoo, when I went for my CDL test, I got in the cab, the test guy asked me about the air brake pressures...

I almost started to believe this.

TURPENTINE VS HOLY WATER A little boy was sitting on the curb with a gallon of turpentine, shaking it up and watching all the bubbles. A little while later a Priest came along and asked the little boy what he had. The little boy replied, "This is the most powerful liquid in...

On the first day, God created the dog and said: 'Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone who comes in or walks past. For this, I will give you a life span of twenty years.' The dog said: 'That's a long time to be barking. How about only ten years and I'll give you back the...

After posting this I got to thinking that if the uh, "electrician" got the polarity reversed, the worse thing to happen would be that the raghead's camelshagger tool would spin in the opposite direction when power was supplied. Clockwise or counterclockwise, it probably wouldn't wouldn't matter.

T. B. Bechtel, a City Councillor from Newcastle, Australia, was asked on a local live radio talk show, just what he thought about the allegations of torture of suspected terrorists. His reply prompted his ejection from the studio, but to thunderous applause from the audience. HIS...

I will forward this to several of my unstable friends..

Don't throw away the Old Prof's Preferred Patented Plastic Pee Pipe just yet. The processing equipment could cost more that $4.88 and weigh more than the capacity of a truck.

Can't stuff my pie hole like I used to. Went to din-din with several friends this eve. Had a kiddie portion of spaghetti and meat balls, scrounged a small amount of my wife's rabbit food and a piece of bread. Have lost 40 lbs in about 18 months. The less I weigh, the less I want to eat.

Ratz!! I was cheering for the kitty.

The training my grandson received for law enforcement included being tasered. His comment on it was somewhat like yesteryear wrote. Listening to the news the other morning on "Bring your rugrat to work day" it seems somebody took their kid and the whole class to work. Work having to be...

When I was about 14 years old the neighbor wanted me to help him check out the spark plug wires on his car. Oh Boy!! thought I. I can really help work on a car. Sooooo, with a big grin on his face, he has me grab hold of the spark plug wire while he cranks the engine. To his suprise and...