Many of my friends now are over 70...yes many of the statements here are true...lol,, the joys of aging...
Q: Where can single men over the age of 70 find
younger women who are interested in them?
A: Try a bookstore, under Fiction.
Q: What can a man do while his wife is going through menopause?
A: Keep busy. If you're handy with tools, you can
finish the basement. When you're done, you will have a place to
live.
Q: Someone has told me that menopause is mentioned in the bible.
Is that true? Where can it be found?
A: Yes. Matthew 14:92:
"And Mary rode
Joseph's ass all the way to Egypt"
Q: How can you increase the heart rate of your
over-70 year-old husband?
A: Tell him you're pregnant.
Q: How can you avoid that terrible curse of the
elderly wrinkles?
A: Take off your glasses.
Q: Seriously! What can I do for these crow's feet
and all those wrinkles on my face?
A: Go braless. It will usually pull them out!
Q: Why should 70-plus year old people use valet
parking?
A: Valets don't forget where they park your car.
Q: Is it common for 70-plus year olds to have
problems with short term memory storage?
A: Storing memory is not a problem. Retrieving it
is the problem.
Q: As people age, do they sleep more soundly?
A: Yes, but usually in the afternoon.
Q: Where should 70-plus year olds look for eye glasses?
A: On their foreheads.
Q: What is the most common remark made by 70-plus
year olds when they enter antique stores?
A: "Gosh, I remember these!"
SMILE,
You've Still Got Your Sense Of
Humor, Haven't You?
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Q: Where can single men over the age of 70 find
younger women who are interested in them?
A: Try a bookstore, under Fiction.
Q: What can a man do while his wife is going through menopause?
A: Keep busy. If you're handy with tools, you can
finish the basement. When you're done, you will have a place to
live.
Q: Someone has told me that menopause is mentioned in the bible.
Is that true? Where can it be found?
A: Yes. Matthew 14:92:
"And Mary rode
Joseph's ass all the way to Egypt"
Q: How can you increase the heart rate of your
over-70 year-old husband?
A: Tell him you're pregnant.
Q: How can you avoid that terrible curse of the
elderly wrinkles?
A: Take off your glasses.
Q: Seriously! What can I do for these crow's feet
and all those wrinkles on my face?
A: Go braless. It will usually pull them out!
Q: Why should 70-plus year old people use valet
parking?
A: Valets don't forget where they park your car.
Q: Is it common for 70-plus year olds to have
problems with short term memory storage?
A: Storing memory is not a problem. Retrieving it
is the problem.
Q: As people age, do they sleep more soundly?
A: Yes, but usually in the afternoon.
Q: Where should 70-plus year olds look for eye glasses?
A: On their foreheads.
Q: What is the most common remark made by 70-plus
year olds when they enter antique stores?
A: "Gosh, I remember these!"
SMILE,
You've Still Got Your Sense Of
Humor, Haven't You?
=
Reply Reply to All Forward More
Click to Reply, Reply All or Forward
Send
stevedocwra on
