My thoughts at large

skyraider

Veteran Expediter
US Navy
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Never ask a two year old to hold a tomato.

Why is there an experation date on sour cream?

Why do we drive on a parkway and park on a driveway?

Thank you for your time. :p

Please take your meds...........................ps if u don't want them, I will take them...
 
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Turtle

Administrator
Staff member
Retired Expediter
Online
Why is there an experation date on sour cream?
Because 2-3 weeks after the expiration date, if you notice dark mold on its surface, bright bacterial marks, pockets of watery liquid and a sharp, bitter flavor, it's time to toss it. If you see mold on the inside of the lid and/or in the product - it's time to throw out the entire container, or make penicillin.
 

Jamin_Joe

Seasoned Expediter
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#2 Pencil Opinions

1. Since crap is king(things turn to stuff).
2. Government decided that #1 pencils needed regulation, so now we have #2.
 

Ragman

Veteran Expediter
Retired Expediter
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Marine-Animals-1.jpg
 

Ragman

Veteran Expediter
Retired Expediter
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1. Where there's a will, I want to be in it.

2. The last thing I want to do is hurt you ...but it's still on my list.

3. Since light travels faster than sound, some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

4. If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong.

5. We never really grow up -- we only learn how to act in public.

6. War does not determine who is right, only who is left.

7. Knowledge, is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

8. To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.

9. I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.

10. In filling out an application, where it says, "In case of an emergency, notify..." I answered "a doctor."

11. Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.

12. You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.

13. I used to be indecisive, but now I'm not so sure.

14. To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target.

15. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian, any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.

16. You're never too old to learn something stupid.

17. I'm supposed to respect my elders, but it's getting harder and harder for me to find one now.

Sadly this is true!!! Spread the Laughter, Share the Cheer, Let's be Happy, while we're here!
:tearsofjoy::tearsofjoy:
 

muttly

Veteran Expediter
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Sometimes I'll watch a movie from 30 or 40 years ago that I liked when I was young and now think It isn't any good.
Kolshack: The Night Strangler (the second movie before they had a tv series)
I fell a sleep watching it.
 
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Ragman

Veteran Expediter
Retired Expediter
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I have everything that I wanted as a teenager, only 60 years later.

I don't have to go to school or work. I get an allowance every month.

I have my own pad. I don't have a curfew. I have a driver's license and my own car. The people I hang around with are not scared of getting pregnant and I don't have acne. Life is great. I changed my car horn to gunshot sounds. People get out of the way much faster now.

Gone are the days when girls used to cook like their mothers. Now they drink like their fathers.

I didn't make it to the gym today. That makes five years in a row.

I decided to stop calling the bathroom "John" and renamed it the "Jim". I feel so much better saying I went to the Jim this morning.

Old age is coming at a really bad time.

When I was a child I thought "nap time" was a punishment. Now it feels like a small vacation.

The biggest lie I tell myself is... " I don't have to write that down, I'll remember it".

I don't have gray hair... I have "wisdom highlights"! I'm just very wise.

If God wanted me to touch my toes, He would've put them on my knees.

Last year I joined a support group for procrastinators. We haven't met yet.

Why do I have to press one for English when you're just going to transfer me to someone I can't understand anyway?

Of course, I talk to myself. Sometimes I need expert advice.

At my age "Getting Lucky" means walking into a room and remembering what I came In there for.

I have more friends I should send this to, but right now I can't remember their names.

Now, I'm wondering... did I send this to you, or did you send it to me?
 
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