Yesterday I was at Costco buying a large bag of dog chow for my
loyal pet, Necco, the Wonder Dog, which weighs 191 lbs. I was in the
check-out line when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog.
(What did she think, I had an
elephant?)
So because I'm retired and have little to do, on impulse I told her
that no, I didn't have a dog, I was starting the Purina Diet again. I
added that I probably shouldn't, because I ended up in the hospital
last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an
intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and
IVs in both arms.
I told her that it was essentially a Perfect Diet and that the way
that it works is, to load your jacket pockets with Purina Nuggets and
simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is
nutritionally complete so it works well and I was going to try it
again. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in line was
now enthralled with my
story.)
Horrified, she asked if I ended up in
intensive care because the dog food poisoned me. I told her no, I
was licking myself on a park bench and fell off and broke my neck.
I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was
laughing so hard.
Costco won't let me shop there anymore.
Better watch what you ask retired people. They have all the time in
the World to think of crazy things to say. Forward this (especially)
to all your retired friends...it will be their laugh for the day!
loyal pet, Necco, the Wonder Dog, which weighs 191 lbs. I was in the
check-out line when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog.
(What did she think, I had an
elephant?)
So because I'm retired and have little to do, on impulse I told her
that no, I didn't have a dog, I was starting the Purina Diet again. I
added that I probably shouldn't, because I ended up in the hospital
last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an
intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and
IVs in both arms.
I told her that it was essentially a Perfect Diet and that the way
that it works is, to load your jacket pockets with Purina Nuggets and
simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is
nutritionally complete so it works well and I was going to try it
again. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in line was
now enthralled with my
story.)
Horrified, she asked if I ended up in
intensive care because the dog food poisoned me. I told her no, I
was licking myself on a park bench and fell off and broke my neck.
I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was
laughing so hard.
Costco won't let me shop there anymore.
Better watch what you ask retired people. They have all the time in
the World to think of crazy things to say. Forward this (especially)
to all your retired friends...it will be their laugh for the day!