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too funny to not share
Yesterday I was at Wal-Mart buying a large bag of Purina dog chow for my loyal pet and was in the checkout line when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog.
What did she think I had, an elephant? So since I'm retired and have little to do, on impulse I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, I was starting the Purina Diet again. I added that I probably shouldn't because I ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pound before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IV's in both arms.
I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so it works well and I was going to try it again (I have to mention here that practically everyone in line was now enthralled with my story).
Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me. I told her no; I stepped off a curb to sniff an Irish Setter's butt and a car hit us both.
I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard. Wal-Mart won't let me shop there anymore.
Better watch what you ask retired people. We have all the time in the world to think of crazy things to say!
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jack berry
racine wisc
look for me in the front lot from now on
B386 dark blue ford 250 ext with the magical BOLT on the side.
ooida member 889111
"the cure for rejection is-being able to see yourself as God sees you. It means announcing, "I am what God says I am, I have what God says I have, therefore, I can do what God says I can do". So even if you didn;t get off to a good start, you can still have a great finish"-Bob Gass
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