Drivers With Spouse and Small Children At Home

guest · 08-05-2005, 09:58 PM

I am sure that this topic has been discussed many times before, but other than the telephone, what are some of the things that you do to help soften the impact of being away from home for long and unpredictable periods? How do you keep it from being a big problem over the long term? How do you stay involved in their lives when you are not there physically?

I think a lot of OTR truckers would say that "they aint got no choice, they're drivin' to survive", but I get the impression that a lot of expediters do it by choice and could stay closer to home if they wanted to doing something else.

**RichM** · 08-05-2005, 09:58 PM

That is a tough one with small children due to the irregular hours we all put in.A ltl driver with Yellow,Fedex freight etc probably runs a regular round trip so he can plan his time at home. Expediting does not offer that. I guess the best thing is daily communication and when you do get home no matter how tired you are get into the children's lives. Local trips with them in the truck with just you is a positive experience,also gives the Mother a break and she just might want to reward you for giving her some time alone.:P :P

**davekc** · 08-05-2005, 10:28 PM

The other thing that crosses my mind is using a webcam and audio via the computer. Not perfect, but it is better than plain phone calls ect.
They have been running pilot programs in Iraq with the soldiers and it seems to be beneficial to say the least.
Just a thought or an avenue.
Running local is a certain option , but income will likely suffer.
Certainly a tough call and many personal decisions have to be made.
My wife and I faced a simular situation, and we had to adjust accordingly.

Davekc
owner
21 years

**Tennesseahawk** · 08-05-2005, 11:58 PM

My wife sends me pics over my phone or email whenever my daughter wants to be a movie star :-)

Still doesn't take away the fact that I miss her growing up a week or two at a time. And geez does she grow!!!

**cashbox** · 08-06-2005, 01:38 AM

My little ones are teenagers now, but when they were younger I was a trucker buddy for my sons class.I recently came off the road and now I am just an owner, but before coming off the road I had a cingular unlimited aircard for my laptop and a webcam, and nationwide direct connect on the nextel.

**Broompilot** · 08-06-2005, 10:34 AM

It is hard, thinking back I did not think it would be this difficult. For those of you thinking of doing this you need to put serious thought, with your family knowing what is gona happen. Even then I find being gone up to 3 weeks or longer to be very lonley out there.

You come home and your no longer a piece of the puzzle. You try to catch up only to find you need more time to take care of everything that has broken (not just items) but business, IRA's, Insurance etc..

Show your family how much you miss them, when on layover buy your kids a Harley shirt or something else that has a name of a town you have been to on it. (Most kids and some wifes like Harleys) Its the thought that counts, when they wear it they will think of you.

Take picutures, go to Walmart buy a albulm $10.00 have the pictures printed and start a photo albulm to share with them. At least it will give you something to share.

As for small children and this is just my opinion. Find another field of employment they need you (children).

**cheri1122** · 08-07-2005, 02:18 AM

I have no spouse at home, (recently divorced), and no small children, (I couldn't do this with small ones), but I do have a 15 yr old daughter. (She remained with her dad, he kept the house & the dogs, & I sure do miss the dogs!) We keep in touch by phone, text messaging, pix via cell phone, I send postcards, etc. When I am home, she is with me whenever her busy (social) schedule permits, and it's hard to be away so much. She knows, however, that I'm only a phone call away, and in case of emergency, I can be home on a plane in a hurry, so we are making the best of it, and isn't that what we all do?:) :) :)

**mvbn1** · 08-07-2005, 12:32 PM

>I am sure that this topic has been discussed many times
>before, but other than the telephone, what are some of the
>things that you do to help soften the impact of being away
>from home for long and unpredictable periods? How do you
>keep it from being a big problem over the long term? How do
>you stay involved in their lives when you are not there
>physically?
>
>I think a lot of OTR truckers would say that "they aint got
>no choice, they're drivin' to survive", but I get the
>impression that a lot of expediters do it by choice and
>could stay closer to home if they wanted to doing something
>else.

First of all, you can't stay "involved" in their lives, if their at a baseball game, hitting their first homerun, or getting up in front of a mall crowd, at their first dance class, and you're sitting in the parking lot at the Flying J! If you've got small kids, get off the road, find other employment, and be there for your children.

What until you take that long load that's going to pay you $1800, and while your gone, you miss a "first" at home. You know, first steps, first words, first time they come home with an "A" on their report card, first date... think about it.

My two cents...

P.S. - I have been thinking about it, and plan on doing something about it real soon! My kids are 22 and 15, and at that age, you still miss out on things.

**ATeam** · 08-08-2005, 01:03 AM

Broompilot said,
>As for small children and this is just my opinion. Find
>another field of employment they need you (children).

Sometimes the bigger kids need you home too. I know of an expediting team that is right now giving up a good expediting career, or at least putting it on hold for a few years, because a teen at home is acting up....shrinks say "acting out."

**plumcrazy8** · 08-10-2005, 09:33 PM

Just secured a local driving job today. I will truly miss the expediting business but not as much as I have missed my family.

You really do only go around once in life, so make it something you will be proud of. With the last of 7 children being 15 years old last week and my wife being recently handicapped it's time for me to settle in locally and pitch in around the house.

I still plan on keeping up on this website since this business is so interesting. For those of you who stick to it - good luck to you all, it's a great business.

See Ya.